When narcissists DEATH DANGLE

I don't care about my mother's money. It's hers and I know how to make my own. Freedom is priceless.

All of my family died in 5 years. All my family wealth landed in my brother's mistress hands. I walked away with my freedom and peace and no narcissist manipulation from the grave. YES!

Stress from narcissists is the main reason why the good die young. I went no contact with both my sisters. I have no doubt that they'll rob me of my inheritance by gaslighting my mother to believe they deserve it more.

This is exactly what my narc parents do to me. In the past if I mentioned moving to a different state or country, they'd say, "You must really hate us if you want to move away. Well, when we're on our deathbeds you'll regret it and wish you had stayed and had that time with us." Or they'll say, "I'll have a stroke or heart attack if you leave." I'm an adult but now they don't even want me leaving their house. Their new thing is, "You'll never afford to live on your own. Get marry first then move out with your husband." It's all about control. 😔

This is my father. Constantly threatening if i don't behave, I'll be written out of his will. Well, i finally called him on his bluff, * LIE* , and plainly stated that I know, I'm never going to be in his will, threats or not. I told him this out loud. And true to his behaviour, he's never helped, never done anything to remotely show that I am a valued and loved daughter. It's been more than 30+years. He's never shown love, given Xmas gifts, birthday, for me or my kids. I've always known this about him. He's treated me differently ever since I was a child. He has however helped his two other daughters. I was even blocked from my grandmother's ( his mother) will. Narcissism consumes the whole family generationally.

And then other family members join in: "Some day she is going to be dead and you will know how WRONG YOU ARE!!"

this literally happened to me this week. who are they to tell me what i’ll regret? they don’t even know me. financial manipulation is one of the most disgusting tactics. such a lack of humanity.

Dont expect anything and live your life authentically.

I just went thru the “we expect you to visit mom before she dies” dangle. It sounds harsh but I saw no benefit to me in reopening that can of worms. A cousin of mine opted to visit her and was treated precisely how I would have been…with disapproval and insult and rejection. The regret they try to dangle has become vindication that I should trust my gut.

I know everyone's situation is different, but the most sensible thing i have heard about money/ inheritance manipulation was Jerry Wise saying, 'well, i don't have it now, and my life is ok ...'

I went 100% no contact, and I don't need their money or trinkets. I am self-made and have everything I need already.

My mother spent my first 20 years parenting from her bed where she was sick and dying. When I was 8 she went to the hospital to have my little brother and told me she might die then. She dangled death from different causes every year. I was amazed she lived to see me leave at age 19. It was miraculous. That continued with my siblings at home for years after. She's never had the words to say, she is enjoying life or she's feeling healthy. She's 85 now, mobile, causing drama and triangulation, complaining, and she is still dying. It must be the longest spell of a human dying in the history of man.

My mom in a nutshell. I left at 14 and got help from social services but DAMN it was hard living with her. I am so happy I left!

My narcissistic mother is too broke to make these kind of threats. What she does do is threaten suicide or wishing she would die when she’s losing her control.

My real inheritance will be the rest of the family saying "they're dead now, you can be part of the family again" followed by several minutes of uncontrollable laughter on my side. Calling it now, that will be the quote. Watch me edit this in 20 years with some "called it" 😂

My dad started threatening to disinherit me as soon as I left the nest as a young adult. I’ve always assumed it’s his money to do with as he wishes and focused on building my life instead of pleasing the unpleasable. No price is worth giving up your autonomy and sovereignty to an abuser that refuses to allow you to individuate as a separate human being.

I ghosted my narcissistic parents using death dangling and trash talking me for daring to give them all my savings to renovate their house but I got married and didn't move back in with them. I don't regret it. I can't see how I would even regret it. When I left for uni, I paid for my rent and food and helped them out with help and money and what they wanted was a slave. They literally said they didn't raise me to be someone else's slave. I understood that they raised me to be theirs. They said it to me the day before my wedding that they expected me to enjoy marriage for 6 months and not have children then divorce and move back to pay their bills so they can enjoy retirement. Oma Desala once said: "The only way to win is to deny it battle!" And I did.

My elderly parents are wealthy but told me during Covid that they've sorted out their will so that my youngest brother (their favourite) will get almost all of their properties and assets (knowing he already has a big house and lots of wealth and I don't), and that I "might get a little something" but they need to "see how it goes". Well, I finally walked out after they went at me like a pack of vicious wolves, so that means nothing for me. And it got to me - for a while. Now I've realised how I'm allowing them to hurt me with this and how it's affecting my health. So I don't give a fiddler's fart any more. Their golden boy, who they did a good job of turning against me, can have the lot. I just need my peace of mind now. That's worth more than anything, and it feels so liberating! By the way, in Germany inheritance is equally shared among siblings or the next closest relatives. You can't just cut them out.

Coming to terms with the harsh realities of wills and manipulations therein, is one of the harshest realities we face. Because it's not about love. It's about conditional love. And it's not that conditional love is not important -- it IS, obviously. But there are levels of conditional love, and there is a so- -rare-thing called unconditional love, which is what we all need and needed growing up.

I see a number of comments where people talk about making their own money and being free of this. Some of us were so abused we have chronic health problems brought on by it and self esteem issues that crippled us most of our lives. I healed my self esteem enough to start functioning like a normal person in my mid thirties, hence I am behind financially. Some narcissists convince their children that they will never make it in the world, they teach them to faun to the point where they irritate bosses and co-workers, they teach them to hate themselves enough that they are not the type to do well in interviews or ask for a raise.