The Art of Being a Couple | Theodore Zeldin | TEDxOxford

"I think it's impossible to know one's self. I think it's much more interesting to know others." That's gold, right there.

I’m glad he’s sitting down.... I want those people speaking to be more comfortable and natural as they are talking with us. Very interesting.

"The extent of your memories determines how much you can imagine about the future." What an interesting idea.

I love to listen to elders, they have such experience of life that it is always interesting to hear what they have to say. They are a great source of knowledge

Talk TO each other. Not AT each other. Great talk 👍🏼

The title should be called 'The Art of Being Human'. Is it just me or are people forgetting how to just be human.

I need this man to be my grandpa

I think what he's saying is you need to be humble. That is what is needed for listening. There is very little listening these days because there is very little humility.

I believe that we need to have an authentic, loving relationship with ourselves first, and then share ourselves and our love with others. We have so much to share and to learn.

"Knowing others is the only thing that matters." Great point.

Active listening is an art that has been on the decline for a long time. Mr. Zeldin speaks well of the need to listen, hear, and process not simply that what aligns with our own opinions, but that what does not align in order to come to know and understand another person. This requires truly being present and focused in the moment with another individual. This is what is missing in many interactions between people, not just couples.

(Some of) The 25 Questions to Ask: 1. How have your priorities changed over the years? 2. What do you think about your spending habits and what do you need that money cannot buy? 3. What would you like to be engraved on your tombstone? 4. Which parts of your life were a waste of time? 5. What have you rebelled against in the past – and what are you rebelling against now? 6. What are the limits of your compassion? 7. What moral, intellectual, aesthetic and social effects does the work you do have on others and on yourself? 8. What makes a life go well? How should one live? 9. How have you made and lost friendships and what other kinds of friends would you like? 10. What are your earliest memories of your childhood? 11. What brings you greatest happiness when you think back on your life so far? 12. If you could teach your children one thing – what would it be? 13. What do you think of Theodore Zeldin’s proposition that the greatest change since the agricultural revolution is that for the first time “men and women are talking with each other as equals”? 14. What motivates you to get up in the morning? 15. If you could do what ever you wanted – what would that be? 16. Describe your perfect partner? 17. Who would you lie for and whom wouldn’t you lie for? 18. In what way do you plan to leave the world a better place when you die? 19. With whom would you like to reconcile? 20. What have been the most difficult conversations for you? 21. What was the best moment you had with your parents? What the worst one? 22. What kind of humour do you prefer? 23. In what sense do you want to become more courageous? 24. Are there illusions that you cherish? 25. Which dream have you had and not fulfilled yet?

This is one of the most interesting Ted talks I've watched to date.

Everyone's upset because it s not about couples, stop being outraged about the title, learn to let go of the little inconveniences and enjoy this great content even if you eexpected something else...this exercise alone will help you have a happy couple. Peace

Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you guys didnt get the message?

I really appreciate this talk. I always say that every 2 people have a language to discover. Being vulnerable is key. It leads to understanding. It's a release that leads us to a greater world of, each other. It's been written, Psalm 33:15 He who fashions the hearts of them all, Who considers and understands all that they do. Let us strive to do this💞

All I can say is "I would like to hear a lot more what Theodore Zeldin has to say!" Wow what a lesson in kindness , compassion & original deep thinking! thank~you ;)

~“The Extent of your memories determines how much you can imagine about your future.”.... wow! But the Title is misleading. Not exclusive to couples but the art of listening and connecting. Learning to Speak and hear in a different way. So much more! I’m still processing! Very rich material!

Is that you, Bilbo? Happy eleventy-first birthday!

I had dementia and he said right thing focus on ur childhood memories I went back to my childhood place amd after five years of being lost, I have started regaining my memories