Trauma, shame, and being enough | Patti Ashley | TEDxCU

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Published 2022-06-24
One month after the COVID19 pandemic hit there was an 891% increase in calls to the National Mental Health Hotline. Psychotherapist, author, and speaker Dr. Patti Ashley explains how not feeling good enough has contributed to this mental health crisis. Uncovering and demystifying the shame that develops from early childhood trauma, ancestral DNA, and neuroscience, Patti helps you find emotional safety and feelings of love and belonging. Patti Ashley, PhD, LPC owns and operates Authenticity Architects in Boulder, Colorado. Integrating her forty-plus years of experience in education, child development, and psychology she has developed a wholehearted psychotherapy approach that facilitates long-term changes in the brain and nervous system, breaking through unconscious barriers to self-love, belonging, and connection.

Dr. Ashley also teaches and trains clinicians, physicians, hospitals, universities, and other organizations on her unique psychotherapy approach, offering insights into the identification and treatment of shame, trauma, grief, and dysfunctional family patterns.

Patti holds a PhD in psychology from the Union Institute and University, a MS in early childhood from Old Dominion University, and a BS in special education from James Madison University. She is the author of Living in the Shadow of the Too-Good Mother Archetype (2014,) Letters to Freedom (2019,) and Shame-Informed Therapy (2020.) This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
All Comments (21)
  • @VillageCookingWithParnik
    Anyone who reads this, we don't know each other and probably will never meet in the future, but I wish you all the best in life and all the luck in the world. Amen❤❤🥰🥰🤲🤲
  • @gerhardkathora4888
    "Give yourself permission to be like a child again. All wounder and curiosity tame shame" felt that
  • @k8tina
    Grew up with narcissistic mother and alcoholic veitnam-veteran father, abused and bullied by so many growing up, never had any friends and I have never felt safe. 💔 48 years old and still don't trust anyone. It's ruined my ability to love and get close to anyone, including my children despite being the best possible mother I could be. Always felt shame and not enough. My marriage fell apart when my military husband had a PTSD induced psychotic break 3 years ago and I just shut down inside. Talk about imposter syndrome!! This TED talk really resonated with me. I hope others are able to find comfort and help thru this woman's wise words.
  • @janetslicer3637
    For the last three months I have been in crisis and trauma counseling since my husband of almost 40 years committed suicide four months ago. This woman's presentation made more sense to me than most of what I have been listening to for the past three months. I finally feel like I can breathe again. I have a long way to go but I just might be on my way back. I will never be the same but there may well be a way forward. I will listen to this again and again. My son will listen to it next.
  • @mitchkothe9025
    The universe is with me. I’m back to life. Right before my eyes is this incredible woman. Thank you this is what I needed to watch and listen to
  • @LittleRedRideMeGood69
    10/10 ACE score. Foster care kid. Narcissist mother with a victim complex. As a mother myself, I never feel good about me. There's always more to be done, more to be said, more to be planned, more (verb). I just want to be happy. For one day. ☹️
  • @yoagi999
    As a 22 year old ,I'm glad more of this content is coming out and being shared I know a lot of young adults now we are striving to create a better world where if we want to have children they won't ever have to go through what any of the previous generations went through. A generation that experiences no trauma let it be set in stone!
  • @iloveramennoodle01
    this is a synchronizitie to me. I've been working over the last two years on who and what I want to become in my future. I've been learning specifically about childhood traumas and becoming better at identifying my own and the outcomes or actions they have me producing today.this isn't a coincidence but a sign I'm discovering a significant lesson.
  • @lisasternenkind6467
    24 hours a day are not enough to meditate my cPTSD away. And it also does not help when people are saying, that I JUST need to let go, live in the moment, think positive, don't look back, etc. I am fed up of this toxic positivity.
  • @zacharytowey6989
    The universe truly brought this to me today! Thank you so much for your speech!!! ✨
  • @susandavis8528
    Thank you, Patti. Your talk is like a journey through my past several years, working with a therapist on childhood trauma from abuse, grief at the loss of my marriage, then loosing my job and career. I have found solace and even joy in being here for myself, and for the everyday moments. Not an easy journey, but a rewarding one as I am more authentic, and more connected. And now I know I'm also A Nuff. 😀❤🙏
  • @annadobysh1420
    I'm enough, how wonderful it's sound. We can literraly escape the shame just by being a Child, dancing, singing, playing. Great advice🌼
  • @abby999
    “you have to keep breaking your heart until it opens” ❤️‍🩹
  • @viscariasongbird7354
    Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. This, is needed much more than anything logical I've run into recently.
  • @izaaguilo
    Wow! What a breakthrough. Thanks and blessings 🙌
  • @RISERefuge
    Thank you for this clear and simple explanation. Grounding techniques, nature, music, and journalling are my go-to de-compression, and healing and tools. Breathing, physical movement, journalling and creating art works help me to renew and restore. Mindfulness helps to elevate the theta state so we can be in the learning/growth mode.
  • @aisadal2521
    Great timing, since these old feelings stirred up in me for a while recently
  • @gunjanyadav2691
    I felt so relaxed after watching this video..What a wonderful talk..💟