The Sway House Mobile Game is a Disaster

can we talk about how making a game about your fans dating you is one of the weirdest indulgences of unhealthy parasocial relationships? they know their public is mostly 10 year old girls who are attracted to them. making what is basically a dating sim about youself is bizarre at best

The most unrealistic part of the episode knockoff is that the sway house has fans their age.

8:33 I imagine One direction board game as a snakes and ladders, but without snakes. You know, cause only one direction

this game is inaccurate af. juliette would've most likely be torn to shreds by sway house fanatics due to the threat of a woman being present in an all-male entertainment group

Kurtis's 70s porn stache and creed shirt transcends reality and distorts this simulation one joke at a time

fun fact! sway is an acronym! it stands for: S- growth W-brotherhood A-content Y-creation

I HAVE had a baby (vaginally) and I can confirm their delivery of those lines was more painful to get through then child labor.

The update of this is chef's kiss 1. There is still only one episode over 6 months later 2. To release a second episode, they are now asking for 15k instead of 50 because their following has decreased to 5k 3. They lowered the subscription to 1.99 a week, so now you can save on the zero content that you're buying!

Those 1D imagines had a more compelling story than this game 😶

i’m glad he apologized for talking so much i was trying to get a word in the whole time

As a woman in her late twenties who is too old to know these influencers and doesn't watch them. They look like clones of one another. Lol

“The next morning, you wake up to sounds of grinding metal…” Slayer in her kitchen: 🎸🎸 🗣🎤

kurtis says “sorry for talking so much” like we’re not here to watch him talk for 25 minutes

kurtis dancing like a sway boy will forever haunt me

okay petition for Kurtis to make a game called ‘kurtis town’ where it’s basically like animal crossing mixed w stardew valley and set in canada.

If I even passed the sway house street, I would immediately cover my drink

The fact he called his fans customers is so telling. It's clear that the Sway house sees their audience as people just there to give them money.

this game feels like a fanfiction they wrote for themselves

I was in show choir and theatre in high school. I was great at facial expressions and stage energy. I wasn't the best dancer at all, but with practice, I managed to learn all the steps. And if I messed up, my enthusiasm covered it up. Even beyond the stage, dancing was a big deal at my junior high and HS. Break dance circles after school, imitating the latest music videos, grinding and dropping it during school dances, knowing the steps to group dances (like Electric Slide or Cha-Cha Slide.) Being good at dancing was a point of pride. It earned you cool points. I'm in my 30s now, but I bet dancing skills are still valued by today's teenagers. So when I hear about TikTok dances, every single time I think, "Oh, this must be some cool choreography. Complicated or just looks really good. Lots of effort behind it." And every time, I am disappointed.