How to recognize perfectly hidden depression | Margaret Rutherford | TEDxBocaRaton

Sometimes people get so good at hiding it they're even hiding it from themselves.

Suicidal people usually don't want to die. They want the pain of their life to stop.

Is it bad of me to say that it's a little comforting to know so many other people are feeling this way?

I don't think the world is ready to acknowledge just how large of a pain scale we are all on

Mental health is complex. It's not just about hiding feelings; sometimes, people genuinely don't understand what they're going through.

We hide these feelings because we are told we are “too dramatic”, or “you have nothing to be depressed about”, etc. After a while, we shut down.

City life makes humans depressed. We are not insects, working day after day after day. We need slow mornings and slow-cooked meals, time to breathe and time to listen to the sound of silence. We need family and friends around us, true relationships, not occasional relationships.

People at work would be shocked how I constantly think about suicide. I’m successful and respected. Always have a smile on my face and help others. When I’m not at work, I almost never leave my bed and sleep ALL THE TIME. I really think they’d be surprised.

One of the best descriptions of how it feels I’ve ever seen was “I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be here anymore”.

For what it’s worth, you DID listen to your gut. You DID take action. You DID save Natalie’s life. I know it’s human nature to beat yourself up over the what-ifs, but you did EVERYTHING right. You are the therapist we all need ❤

The part about perfectionism alongside depression is just... so accurate.

Sometimes hiding feelings isn’t intentional. Some of us betray themselves too, because we never learn to express ourselves while growing up.

Treating suicidal feelings as normal feelings is a game-changer. It's about destigmatizing these emotions and creating a space for open dialogue, I am all for this.

A clue for when someone is about to go through suicide is that they all of the sudden look extra happy but not because they’re actually happy. They may go around telling family members they love them. They’ll be extra helpful. They’ll be like their old selves before their depression. It’s because they’ve made peace with their decision and they look forward to the moment that they can finally end their pain. They see that moment as closure.

Someone suicidal will not let it show if they're planning to end their life because they don't want to alarm anyone who could try to stop them. If someone shows they need help, that's exactly what it is: they're not yet at that point of putting a plan into action to die; they are asking for help. It's not complicated. People who erase themselves from the social environment are slowly trying to not be missed, eventually. It's gradual sometimes. If psych professionals understand this, they'll be more likely to help.

Thank you to so many who've left comments and ideas and thoughts. I'm very grateful for the feedback and the community of thought.

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone." Human beings can only take so much of others' pain before rejecting them. Depressed people know this. What needs to exist is excellent, intuitive therapists who can empathize and help people express, and work out how to get beyond, their pain. And that's not what drug and money-oriented, oxymoronic "health care" does.

"To be clear, suicide is not normal, its thoughts about suicide is normal" Someone finally said it, it just shows everyone has a limit on how much they can endure

I did that. Hide it well. Functional depression. Untill l surrendered and got honest. I got help. Mentioned the dreaded word...l have depression and have had all my life. I was the smiler. Then the trauma healing began. In gratitude.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.