Get the Truth Out of ANYONE! 4 Easy Psychology techniques Revealed.

I just used these techniques tonight, and I'm blown away. It's exactly like you said, he started to test the waters, finally let the truth out, and the dam broke. Everything came out. Watching this, and your other videos have taught me how to handle confrontation and how to handle the tough subjects with a bit more grace, utilizing none judgemental tones no matter how hurt I am. Thank you for all you do Spidey

I have a little story from my elementary years. And after watching your videos, I’ve realized something. Back in 4th and 5th grade, my class had this thing called the compliment jar and basically the concept was that if we ever got a compliment about the whole class whether it being quiet in the halls or someone compliments us for the classroom being clean, the teachers would put a ball in the jar and when that jar was full we’d have a celebration. Its now I realized that if we ever got a compliment we’d always try to keep that compliment true. So our classroom was always clean, we were always quiet in the halls, and always focused a lot on our work just because we don’t want this compliment to be false.

Omg! “Need to correct the record” worked 100% for me about 13yr ago and I didn’t even mean to do it! So I suspected my husband at the time cheating on me and I had a phone number so I called her and asked and she denied denied denied. Saying they were only friends and he was helping her get through a break up and they never did anything together. I don’t know how I thought of it but I quickly thought to tell her that he already told me that they had slept together and that SHE was the one that instigated it because she was trying to figure out if she should divorce her husband or not because she thought she might be gay and she basically begged him to sleep with her so she would know whether she was gay or not. At this accusation, she got all defensive, and then started telling me the truth saying “he is lying that’s not at all what happened. Yes we slept together and had a relationship but I told him that I was getting a divorce because I didn’t want to be married to my husband anymore and he told me that he was going to leave you for me.” I ended the phone call with “thank you that’s all I needed to know. You can have him now.” She then went on to tell me that I was a liar, and how could I lie to her like that and say he said those things 😂🤣 (the nerve of some people)

I use these techniques all the time, but as a means to help someone change their behaviors rather than as a means to get at the truth. Always optimistic, projecting, and nonjudgmental, "You aren't broken; you've simply found your own unique way to deal with your situation." Emphasize the truth, "There are better ways to get what you want and need than what you've been doing." It is amazing how well these work to get someone to want to change. It's powerful stuff.

"Correct the record" reminds me of someone's life pro-tip post that when they have a programming question, they ask it on a forum, then log in as a different person to post a ridiculously wrong answer. People might not bother to answer your question, but they cannot help correcting the wrong answer, haha.

Reciprocity will not work with narcissists or gaslighters

I’ve started doing something like this with my students who cheat on their tests, especially the writing part. Instead of hurling accusations, which always makes them go into protective mode and denial, I now point out how much they have grown in their vocabulary and sentence structure, thank you for trying your best, etc.etc. They almost always will say that they didn’t write all of it 😂. Then we have a conversation….I ❤ your work.

10/10 recommend these techniques with children! My relationship with my 3 year old (and therefore his behavior) is so much better when I consistently apply these concepts. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been angry about an action, squelched the anger in favor of assuming the best intentions, and come to find out that the intent really was sweet if not misguided. I’ve considered these techniques preventative measures to keep lies out of our relationship as much as possible as he grows. Thank you for codifying the techniques and inspiring me to apply them more intentionally in all of my relationships!

This is how I try to relate to mom, so she doesn’t feel accused. It doesn’t extinguish her narcissism but it does help keep the peace and it’s been my attempt to truly connect and help her feel safe enough to be vulnerable with me, but you know narcissists are way too petrified to ever do that, but it’s as close as I’ll get.

I really connected with your decision to use clips from the same interrogation. I've gotten lost when watching others who use clips from several conversations. With using the same encounter, I felt invested to see more of the progression toward a confession and it kept me watching and learning to the end. Great lesson.

The cookies thing is like saying "you're just a kid" making him feel the interrogator is a calm and sympathetic father figure, then feeling more comfortable to open up to him.

This is, by far, the most interesting YT channel I follow. Thank you for being so open and transparent with this info

1) Optimistic outlook = "the road to hell is paved with good intentions but..." and he frames it with "Sandwich of compliments". 2) Project the blame = you are a good guy and didnt wanted this outcome, others are at fault". - correct the record 3) Emphasize the truth - honesty contract - reciprocity - labeling - short time thinking 4) Non-judgemental thinking

This is generally my character & people do confide. Thanks for the info about looking like a liar when we think someone doesn't believe us, I was raised with interrogating narc, sociopath, bpd's they were my template on how not to be - but I always feel like i have to prove im telling the truth! They projected their bad motives onto me and i foolishly projected my good motives onto them till i was proved wrong and fled for my life. Lesson: when you have sympathy for the devil, do not let them have your shoulder to cry on! They will take your very breath!

I have a story to tell, I am a writer and I had a difficult time writing dialogue for characters who did bad things for good reasons this gives me a format for better conversations with other characters in the book even if they are on the same team. Thank you for the information and how enlightening it is.

Spidey, thank you so much for all the knowledge you share so freely. I've bought all the books you recommended, and they have all helped me read people and protect myself from being manipulated. Im 38 and have always been taken advantage of. Not anymore, though. Because of you, I'm going to study psychology and take a new, more confident approach to life.

O - Optimistic Outlook: Consider the "pros" for doing what the accused person may ave done. Assuming that the person did it in good intentions. Showing empathy by statements of empathy ("I know you didn't intended this, you just wanted to *positive point*."). Giving reassurance that you think he/she is a good person ("You seem like a really calm guy."). P - Project the Blame: Serve basic human need to be seen as good. Offer scapegoats, like circumstances ("You needed to do it to survive.", "It just went out of control."), moral, etc. Technique "Correct the Record": Put out a statement about something you want to know, that is deliberately wrong. People will feel the urge to correct it and tell you easier the truth. Can also be used to find a fitting scapegoat. E -Emphasize the Truth: Emphasize that the only important thing is the truth. Not the consequences. Technique "The Honesty Contract": Say "I promise I will be honest, but in return I want you to be honest too.". Also emphasize that you will be fully transparent and honest to him. Get a confirmation by "Does this sound fair?". After that show constantly appreciation for his/her honesty. N - Non-Judgmental: Taking the bad labels like "killer" and saying stuff like "You are not a killer, you eat cookies.". Moving the focus from the societal judgment to the act itself.

Hi Spidey! I mentioned this in comments in your community but going to add it here too. Topic suggestion--Body Language for Negotiations. Seeing negotiations from your body-language perspective would be both fascinating and useful, especially for your female audience. I'm an assertive woman who has managed people in male-dominated industries (coal, legal, and IT) for over 20 years, but I still despise negotiations. This could have a lot of applications--asking for a raise, responding to an initial job offer, at the car dealership. Thanks for all you do Spidey!

Great video. I work with youth in the judicial system and find that the more of these type videos that i watch the better i can communicate with the youth in our program. One boy calls me "the lie detector" ... he doesnt realize his lying face goes on before he says a word!!

Thank you for OPENing our eyes Spidey! Sorry....that was terrible 😂