Our Anti-MODERN Parenting (Old-Fashioned Wisdom That We Live By) | Pantry Chat

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it. It’s such a great quote to live by!♥️

Josh and Carolyn: The most important thing to know about parenting is that it never really ends. Even as our offspring grow and leave the nest they will always need us from time to time, but let it be a time of their own choosing.

Raising children to become healthy, happy adults is THE most important thing they will ever do. ❤

I love the way you two constantly look at each other to affirm what you both are saying. It’s a beautiful thing!

Best thing i ever did for my children is apologize when i messed up as a parent. Especially, especially, especially when i was mean or reacted out of anger. I was 13 years old when i became a mother and had 5 by the time i was 21, 8 by age 32. I have a very close relationship with all of them even though i was a horrendous parent with my older 3 when they where younger out of the abusive situation i was in i had almost zero patience and quite honestly i was abusive to them and being a child myself i just couldn’t deal with it all. Anyway being able to not deny what i have done and apologize and not give excuses for my behavior it has let us heal as a family and they trust me now. The second best thing was keeping my word always (within reason of course, if there was something outside my control we may have to put things off), but i did what i said and meant what i said. With discipline and with fun things. They knew they could trust me and in turn they respected me. Follow through is so important.

I am in my 70's now with great grandchildren and it blesses my heart to see a family doing things as they should be done. I love your willingness to admit to your children that you make mistakes, too. Even when we do our best, one looks back and can see areas that we would do differently, if possible. Keep up the good work. Many blessings!

mother of 12 and totally agree

Wow! You really do parent with intentionality. Your communication skills are so profound to me. There's so much love and respect. Thank you so much for being great examples! I'm going to pass this video along. May the Lord bless you!

I love this! I am a new mama and our daughter is 15 months old and we are hoping the Lord blesses us with more. This is a great list to glean ideas from. Thank you for sharing!

Love this! I avsked my kids yesterday how they would describe me (I’m 39 and my kids are 18 and 16). They said strict and kind. I did follow almost all of your advice when my kids were young. One thing I really tried to implement was teaching them stuff. When I grew up my parents almost never taught me some things like cooking, handling tools etc. I didn’t want to do that to my kids. I had a lot of freedom but when I left home at 16 I had to learn ”everything” and I struggled a lot. Luckily I had my grandma to ask. My kids have been pretty much self sufficent from 12 years of age. They know how to do most chores around the house and could definitly run their own households but they don’t have to do them all the time of course.

Teach them to 'Think outside the box' !!! Such a valuable tool for problem solving

We teach coping skills to help with failure. "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly until you get good at it!"

This was super good! I agree wholeheartedly. I’m retired from the army where I worked with brand new, young soldiers every single day and that has influenced my parenting (our children are still very young), but I have said many times “I’m not raising children. I’m raising adults.” Childishness is not my desired end state, maturity is (1 Cor 13???). The young adults I worked with who didn’t grow up with thoughtful, intentional parenting really floundered and struggled. Transparently, they took more resources from the organization than they contributed because then the army was trying to re-parent the young adult in much the same ineffective, hand-holding manner. But most importantly, these young folks never overcame their struggles. We don’t stop to think: What do I want for them as adults??? The books we could write… I really appreciated your comment about morning quiet time and how I can model that for my littles. I prefer and need the quiet and solitude for prayer and focus but I’m challenged to think how I can model/foster that at 3 and 1 yo.

Love each point you made! We certainly didn't do everything right while raising our 3 boys. We do need to ask forgiveness but also forgive ourselves ❤

Your No. 1 of parenting tip - one of my favorite memories was walking with my Aunt Elsie to go check on the chicks. I was not walking fast enough for her and she put me up on her shoulders and rode me up there! It was so much fun,

Loved your principles. They are so true. One of my mantras I would say to my self when raising my kids was, "I am going for long term results" not quick fixes. It takes time to mature (I am still growing) It takes time to teach and guide kids. I used to joke that my parenting style was idle threats. When I started homeschooling them I really had to slow way down. I found I was just trying to get them to school everyday and not focused on raising my oil humans. Homeschooling changed everything for me as a parent. I had the time to really influence and teach my kids.

Can't wait until your freeze drying book comes out!!! Love your wonderful teaching and sharing! God Bless y'all!

This is a wonderful podcast. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

What a great video. My kids are grown and in their 30s. My oldest will be 40. I do not know how many times I apologized to my kids when they were younger. Nowadays, tablets and phones have become babysitters. I always taught my kids to take pride in their work - no matter it is. These days, so many do not care. I run a small team in stores doing resets, and sometimes, my company sends me people to help out. I encourage my team to step back and look at their work when it is done. Many that come to help out, do half the job. Even the store managers say I can tell when someone is actually on your team or not by the way things look, that speaks volume. I always say it is how one is raised that affects how they work.

One of my most important parenting skills has been this; the word “no” is just as much of a promise as the word “yes “. I only said no when I needed to, especially when safety was involved! If I had the knee jerk reaction to say no, I learned to temper that impulse with “let me think about that”. It took more time because I knew that if I said no, I had to stick to that promise, even if I was wrong. If I was wrong, then I had to deal with how to apologize or correct my mistake. It also opened up great communication because I was open to hearing why they thought I should say yes when I thought it was in their best interest to say no. They also made sure that their friends complied when I said no. In these times, saying no takes more energy than saying yes. Parents don’t want to deal with the consequences from their children, so they give in. I have always felt that doing that sends the message to children that as a parent, I’m unreliable.