"I Know I'm Trans...Should I Transition?" | Part Two

I definitely am experiencing that tension and i deal with it badly (eating disorder and irritability). Im just so frustrated with myself, my dysphoria, and feeling like I’m not living my life because of other people. I want to live my life for me but I’m a coward.

i could listen to you talk for hours!

I forcefully supressed my gender dysphoria for several years. I knew that something was off about my gender identity since I was 15 but I never really considered transitioning because just the thought of it and the reactions were so frightening. I always thought "I'm born male and that's just who I am and that there's nothing I can really do about it". But as you said, tension built up over the years and at some point I could not bear it anymore. At this point I really hated my life and a few months more of this and I probably would've seriously started considering suicide. Outing myself was for sure the hardest decision in my life but also the best. It saved me from a life full of of mysery.

I'm not sure if you read the comment Dara but your videos have helped me so much, some days i just feel alone and just cry because i feel like i will never be able to transition but your video's remind me it takes time and to go at my own pace thank you Dara <3 <3 <3

Hi Ms. Hoffman Fox, I am transgender and have finally accepted that about myself. I am married and a parent and as such, have a lot to work through. I will be strong and have found support. I reached out to my primary care doc and I am also reaching out to a counselor too. But I have gone a LOT further than that. I looked back at my life as a whole and also asked myself some hard questions. I also looked up some personality tests in which are designed to asses whether one has a male or female brain. I have taken these personality tests a dozen times and each of them return the same finding. I have a female brain. Ever since I was a boy, I have felt the same way. I wondered why I was born a boy. I also wished numerous times (every day in fact) to wake up a woman. The list goes on.

You really hit the nail on the head with this series of videos! I have had that tension building up so much over the years and have always felt like I had an anger problem (that somehow always went away when I dressed up) and lately have been saying “I just don’t care anymore” about so many things that I used to care about. Very unhealthy, but I’m beginning to accept who I am, thanks in part to your videos! You really help put things into perspective and it’s like you are reading my mind! So, so helpful! Thank you so much! :D -Abby <3

I know this is an old video but is so relevant to me right now. I feel like as soon as I stared telling people about my thoughts about being trans, coming out to family and friends and experimenting more with clothing and names it very quickly spiraled into desperately wanting to start medical transition. It sort of hit me all at once very quickly. And now I'm obsessed with thinking about myself with a male body (I'm AFAB) and positives and negatives / risks of taking T and having different surgeries. But now I have to wait at least 2 years for an appointment with the NHS gender identity clinic to even begin to discuss medical transition.

I love your videos...you have helped me more than probably any other person sharing videos on youtube. And your advise is so profesional and makes so much sense. This video describes so well how I experience things and what I went through before deciding to be move forward and give myself a chance... and I am much happier now. Thank you Dara

Thank you Dara. This is one of the most helpful and validating things for me that you have posted. Some of your suggestions for experimenting, compromising and timing resonate SO HARD with my experience!!!

Great video!

Thank you for your videos... right now I don't have many outlets or options... i hit that breaking point of too much tension you were talking about. But even my therapist says I need to find someone to talk to (that's why I see her, sigh). So I just wanted to say thanks. Even just hearing encouraging words helps so much.

I'm literally crying right now. I'm 52 and I know I'm trance and I can't take it anymore. I want to transition but everything is so chaotic right now. It's never going to be the right time. I've been waiting for the right time for over 35 years an and the right time hasn't come. I don't know what to do. I wish I could transition but with my job and both ill parents and both are transphobic, I don't know what my next step is. It hurts me so much 😥😭😢😭 I started drinking more and instead of talkng care of myself I'm eating unhealthy and eating more. I know so many people but I feel so lonely I can't talk to anyone 😭😢😥

I cry at night. I feel life is hopeless most days. I always hate my birth gender. Lately it has been really tough. It might pass but my quality of life is will be diminished even if it does.

THANKS AGAIN for another insightful video!! I live in the UK, so will your book be available to us here soon, so we can get the printed version & PDF? I'm 34 weeks into HRT (blockers/Estro) & I feel your book would be a great read & help me steady my path ...Ah-hmmm ..and my nerves LOL. Hugs for all the lovely videos you make xxx

dara Hoffman... my marriage ended 8 or 9 months ago cause I came out to my husband , it was rough at first I didn't want to transition any longer but now I'm finding myself still wanting to but if my husband would ask me to not transition to save our marriage I think I would. some times I can't see my transition a reality for me I'm sadden and confused .

That's how I feel

(my username is weird cuz my friend made it lol) hey Dara. ..ism pretty sure I'm trans but last year I came out to my mom and she freaked on me...she said it can't be right and she's been calling me a freak since...I kinda believe her so now I'm really confused...what should I do

Wow at age 52 and trying to start my Transition alone then, listening to you. I really need to talk to someone. I have 5 or 6 huge life changing events going on at once. Where do I start?

Dara I have a question I have somebody I met recently through messenger who has a child who is beginning to question there a gender identity I was wondering if you could put out a video that is child and parent related with regard to gender identity because this person I am trying to help with giving video tape video resources and other information that I can provide but I can only do so much and I was wondering if you would be willing to put out a video that I could share with this person for the parents who are divorced and the child is the one questioning your identity and starting to identify as a girl if you could help with the video I would greatly appreciate it I hope you do read these comments thank you PS I am transgender myself and in transition for months on HRT and I am trying to help people as much as I can with educating about transgender and trans gender related issues thank you and if you could could you send your videos to my Facebook page and my Google page called trans gender discussion page which is a resource for those who are transgender allies that and for people to learn about those who are transgender from

I KNOW IM REALLY WANTING TO DO THIS CAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN A LADY INSTEAD OF A GUY CAUSE I GOT TAKEN AWAY FROM MY PARENTS WHEN I WAS 3 MONTHS AND DEALT WITH THIS ALL MY LIFE SO I WANTED TO MEET MY DAD WHEN I WAS A TEEN THAT WAS A MISTAKE CAUSE I FOUND HIM SLEEPING WITH MY EX THEN A GAY TRIED HAVING SEX WITH ME THATS MAINLY WHERE IT ALL STARTED BUT NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME OTHER THEN MY WIFE SHE IS SUPPORTING ME THROUGH THIS I BEEN WEARING BRAS FOR ALMOST 19 YRS I JUST FEEL LIKE A BETTER PERSON WEARING THEM I FINALLY GOT MY TRANSGENDER EARINGS IN THE MAIL BEEN WEARING THEM WAITING ON MY TRANSGENDER NECKLACE PLUS I BEEN PAINTING MY FINGER NAILS I LOVE IT I THINK IT LOOKS PRETTY SO DOES APRIL MY WIFE I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO RESPECT ME FOR WHO I AM BUT I PROBABLY WONT GET IT EITHER WAY OH WELL