Coming Out as Transgender to Family & Friends

Hi, Dara! Even though I'm eleven, I'm 99% sure I'm trans. For my whole life, I've felt like a boy trapped in a girl's body. When someone calls me by my birth name, Abbigail, I feel this faint pain in my chest. I told my online friends about how I feel; they now call me Blake and use male pronouns, and I feel so happy because of that! Anyway, I've heard my parents and family joking about trans people and pretending as if they aren't people. They have even put software on my tablet to make sure I'm not watching videos about being transgender. I've tried to tell my mom about how I feel very often multiple times, but I always get the same response: "You're a girl, Abbigail. You can't fix that." When I try to tell my grandma, I always hear this: "God made you a girl for a reason." I've been experimenting with male names, clothing and pronouns, too (I already said that, but I worded it weirdly). When I think about myself in the future, I see myself as a boy. Can you help me? P.S. I hope your allergies got better!

I know I keep bringing these old videos back from the far past, but I keep trying to catch up on videos you've posted that made a big difference to me. This video plus your Coming Out checklist was huge in my decision to come out to a lot of people. I ended up taking what I think is my most beautiful picture, putting a "Happy New Years!" frame around it, and then sending it as a Facebook message to a whole bunch of people in my friends list. I seriously came out to about 50 people between January 1 and January 2. :) I still haven't come out to the most important person in my life aside from my wife: my Mother. I just don't know how to tell her without breaking her heart. But aside from that, everyone that is important to me knows. Thanks!

Just for you know, I think you are amazing! I'm from Brazil and things in here are not good for trans people. There's a lack of information, prejudice, not to mention the almost non existence of healt care to help in my transition. You helped me in so many ways that i can't even find the words to describe, and I just want to say thank you, from the botton of my hart.

Thanks for making videos. Ever since I discovered your channel your videos have been so helpful, especially when I'm feeling like crap. I can't wait to read your book!

Thank you for your videos and expertise. You are so helpful. Trans and you have made it so much more comfortable. I wish you were my Therapist! ❤

I never really repressed my identity from myself , i've been  crossdressing since the age of 5 .But 50 years of fear of social conformity has prevented me from truly living my life to the fullest.I'm proud to say that on friday I overcame the highest hurdle I've ever had to face and came out to my best friend. I have discovered that since that hurdle it becomes increasingly easier to reveal with each friend or family I tell.there are 2 things i would like to say, 1st dont wait forever to make that decision,my greatest regret is I didnt do this much earlier in life. Secondly I would say that,,, after I related to my friend of my identity a flood of emotion burst forth and I wanted to just say everything and reveal everything all at once ,I realized as with my daughter as well that i was overwhelming them and and needed to slow the information down to allow them to absorb . Their first reactions was that of being happy for me to finally face my fears but they did suffer a little from shock and needed time to think,Be patient and sensitive to their feelings even though they may not show at first.Thank you for your inspirational videos and i would like to say more but I'm hogging all the page . lol

Do you have any tips on how to explain non-binary identities to adults? My main fear with the inevitable coming out to my parents is them not believing my gender is real and dismissing me because of it, since they have only known the gender binary their whole lives and now their kid is trying to convince them there's more genders than that.

My family has always known they’re response when I came out was (we’ve always known we just wanted you to be able to feel comfortable enough to tell us) my family is supportive but I need to take the next steps in my journey

Hi dara,i have been coming out for a few weeks now.i told my close family and friends by text,my workmates by email and not so close friends by facebook status.its all gone very well.i like it this way as people have a chance to think about there responce.i have also made some videos on youtube,i think that realy helps me.

Rei Pennington  This is a question I have been getting a lot lately, so I'll be sure to address it soon in a video and blog post. In the meantime this is a really good website for you and your parents to start: neutrois.com/.  There are a lot of cool images you can find in Pinterest that explain what agender and non-binary identities mean, as well as a lot of folks on Tumblr who feel this way.  It's all going to depend on your relationship with your parents. If both you and they can be patient as they go through the learning process about this, things will probably eventually work out just fine. Good luck!

Hello my birth name is Dillon and i'm 13 i was born a male and i know i was ment to be female i want to tell my mom dad and brother but im scared what they will think of me because they are very religious and i want to be my true self and wear bras,makeup,skirts,and have boobs and long butiful hair but i hide all of that so no one will know i need help plz

Hi dara , can you please make a video on transgender MTF , coming out to a spouse and kids?

im starting to socially transition from mtf im a the point of coming out to my supervisors so i can express more female at work

my preffered name is caden is gender neutral but more femminine in ireland

Probably wasn't the best idea, but I came out to everyone through Facebook

By the way, as a fraternal twin, I have discovered that it is indeed possible for identical twins to also be different sexes, right down to one having XX chromosomes and the other XY. It is extremely rare, caused by a quirk that I don't comprehend, but it happens. Given that knowledge — that being an identical twin does NOT strictly relegate you to the same sex OR gender as your twin — such a transgender person should not feel that it violates their gender to acknowledge an identical twin. Of course, the word “identical” may feel problematic for some such twins, because even though they began with the same DNA, same-gender identical twins grow into different people. Maybe someday there will be a better term. Note: I realize this video has been out for awhile, and I haven't sifted through all the comments, so forgive me if my contribution is redundant with someone else's.

Sorry to point out but the word "communication" is misspelled. You have it as "communiction"...otherwise I love this video because I am still working on coming out to my Mom. Wish me luck!🙏❤

For years I've always thought that talking to your parents about anything was the easiest thing as they are family, they are close. ETC. But when this topic became something to worry about, I've found that talking to parents is actually the hardest thing ever. I've had nothing but support talking to friends and even strangers, but with my parents, I know they do not approve of gay/lesbian stuff, let alone trans gender stuff. How can I possibly come out to them knowing this already? I don't want to strain my relationship with them because its a good relationship otherwise, but is it wise that I just suppress myself just to appease their ideals?

I'm a male but I find some guys to be some what attractive and at the same time I still like girls, but I do like girls a bit more then I find some males to be, but am I gay or is it just a phase that will go away?

I have found out that my parents would not accept my female persona. It was 1961, I was 20, I needed their support just to survive. They made me hide inside myself and remain a room and board slave for Dad. My first wife got tired of me and shocked me and divorced me, "I don't love you anymore" it was 1975. All the negative reactions did absolutely nothing to change my thinking, I still feel I am a female in sex. So now I operate internally from a position of power as a beautiful and extremely sensual woman. I have withstood all that GD could do to torture this girl into alienating her male companion. That's a non starter. My axiom being would a REAL woman ever destroy her masculine lover? or rather employ him in her service?