BPD Boredom and Emptiness
124,410
Published 2020-06-14
Many of my clients often report the experience of boredom that is intertwined with sadness, depression, and most of all emptiness. In this video we are going to sort this out and I’m going to give you some tips on how to lessen and control that boredom.
What is boredom - a fleeting state that results from monotonous tasks or limited external stimulation. There’s nothing going on, no one is calling, texting, or Skyping you.
What is emptiness - feeling of without meaning, purpose or substance, or feeling hollow. You feel like no matter what you do or how much you do it, you’ll never fill up.
Boredom was initially part of the early criteria to identify BPD, it was emptiness or boredom, but that was removed, leaving emptiness only. This was done because it wasn’t discriminating enough from other disorders, as many disorders have components of boredom, such as depression, ADHD, impulse control disorders, to name a few.
Emptiness is similar to boredom, it is closely related to feeling hopeless, lonely, useless, worthless, and isolated, and is a robust predictor of depression and suicidal ideation.
Emptiness does not equal boredom and boredom can be its own construct. Many clients report boredom with life, others, and themselves. I think it can be a part of emptiness that drives impulsivity, depression, unstable self-concept, and a component of anxiety. Recognizing your tendency for emptiness and boredom can help you determine if this is a part of your core content, as it is in many of my clients.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
YouTube: youtube.com/c/DrDanielFox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/appliedpsychservices/
Twitter: twitter.com/DrDanielJFox1
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drdfox/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
All Comments (21)
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Sometimes I feel bored but at the same time too sad or anxious to do anything
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Only a person with bpd knows how dark that emptiness can get.
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I feel bored and empty when I am alone. Wish it wasn’t that way because I have plenty of things I could be getting done with my “alone time” but I guess I feel too sad and empty to care so I just sit there instead feeling depressed
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Everyday for the last couple years I’ve turned my PC on to play a game and I end up just staring at my screen for a few minutes before realizing I’m too lazy to even do something I enjoy.
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AH This underpins my whole life... I get so depressed because I'm constantly going through these cycles of Finding a new passion>obsessing about it>becoming dissillusioned>feeling like everything is hopeless. I've been like that most of my life...
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Emptiness and boredom are one of my main symptoms and struggles. I feel like I'm constantly bored. I don't have any hobbies and the one that used to be my passion has become my main source of misery and unhappiness. The fact I'm also a perfectionist with a ''if I'm not immediately good at it then I give up'' mindset is not helping. I've always dreamt of very adventurous life, full of journeys, unexpected events and days being vey different from one another. Yes I got the absolute opposite and it makes me feel bored, broken and empty. That boredom is really toxic, because in that state my brain wonders to the worst places and before I notice I feel worthless and useless. Luckily I'm moving out in 3 months and starting a really good job, so I will see new places and meet new people. It will definitely be a healthy change for me.
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This is why I drink and smoke because I feel like this empty boredom and whenever I tell people that they don’t get it :/
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Depression, anger, boredom, emptiness, all linked, probably more.
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This is very useful thank you. But the problem is that sometimes I can't even get myself do anything, especially go out of the house. Or talk to people. And at the same time, boredom annoys me and I feel guilty about it.
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Emptiness and boredom is simply my being I used to fill this emptiness with alcohol, drugs and putting myself in danger. that feeling that used to made me feel. But now I succeed to fill it with drawing, painting and gardening but it is still empty and lacking the sense of life. NO ESCAPE
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i guess the irony here is i was already bored when i found this so it was super hard to concentrate 😅
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I love the part where it says "I am not causing the emptiness. It's not because of something I am doing." ❤️❤️
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THANK YOU!!! <3 "Chronic feelings of emptiness" was one of the criteria I originally denied when being diagnosed but since quarantine it has been so brutal every single night. Mine seems to be triggered or just coincide with the sun going down/darkness. Great video as always :)
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Feels like there's a deep, empty black hole in my chest. Gives me actual chest pain like heartache. Now I haven't been in a relationship in four years because I know I'm not healthy enough for one, but wow, nothing else really fills this emptiness– only romance (fantasy-driven, unhealthy, projecting unrealistic perfection romance that doesn't last) and alcohol ease the ache for a short time, then make it worse in the end. It makes me literally go crazy and hit my head (physical pain seems to help distract from the mental pain for a few seconds) just trying to get rid of this empty, soul rotting feeling. What's wrong with my brain? I just want to be normal. Really feels like I'm rotting inside, just waiting for the day I finally snap and end it all.
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the boredom comes from lack of being appreciated, lack of feeling you can be an enrichment to life
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I’ve realized that my BPD symptoms tend to become most intense the week before my menstrual cycle. Have any of your clients reported similar?
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1. Avoid procrastination 2. SMART goals 3. Changing perception 4. Breaking patterns and routine 5. Say Yes to new experience 6. Expand social circle 7. Recognise sense of shame
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This is the first video I watch on BPD and my mind is blown. I never realised that my feeling of emptiness could come from my disorder.. I just thought I was crazy.
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I feel like at 28 my life is coming to an end, and I haven't even done anything. I've gained hope and lost it so much, I don't know how I'm suppose to go on again and again and do it over and over again, it feels close to the end for me.
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I want to almost cry because I finally found someone who understands. 😭😭 People just say I'm crazy but I knew there was something else. 😭
