5 Things to Know Before You “Netflix and Chill” With Someone

As a relationship coach - I would never advise a woman to go to a man’s home or allow him to come to yours until you know him better. You MUST use wisdom and keep yourself safe!

Ladies please don't do that with someone you have only known for one date. Desperate behavior does set a precedent .... For you and others... And leads to desperate situations and undesirable results. If you want to be loved and cared for, this is a Red flag.Tell him you're not ready. If he reacts negatively, that's all you need to know about his character. Move on. You've just saved yourself. 🙏💖🌍🕊️

Just know that the right man would never suggest that kind of plan in a second date...and know that any man that suggest that is not respecting you or looking for a true relationship... Men know very well what is acceptable and what is not...and believe me, a man that is really interested in you wouldn't risk loosing you suggesting that kind of second date... it's only a recipe to heartbreak... "situationships, friends with beneficts or ghosting after that" ...respect yourself and say is a too intimate plan for a second date for you and if he doesnt want other kind of date in public, you will know you saved yourself from heartbrake.. take care of your heart, you only have one my sister🙏💖

The first time I had my now wife over to my place was unplanned. We'd planned on meeting at a park for a picnic, but it was raining, so I called an audible, pushed the furniture in my living room to the side, spread out the blanket, and we had the picnic on my living room floor. I'd still made the food (salad, garlic bread, fettucini alfredo(I think it was chicken but it might have been shrimp) and strawberry cheesecake for dessert (yes, I cook and bake) My wife said she was so impressed by the effort I put into not giving up on the picnic atmosphere that it made her like me that much more. So yeah, what he said here is absolutely critical. Don't reduce the effort you put into making sure you both enjoy your time together. My wife and I still plan regular dates. That's important. BTW, we celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary last October, so take it for what it's worth.

Idk why im watching this, i never want to netflix with other ppl. 😂

You had me tearing up a bit at the end when I realised you were telling us all to know our boundaries and stick to them. My ex of 30+yrs trampled over my boundaries from the beginning but my Mum made me trauma bond to a nasty sister and to be a people pleaser so my boundaries were lines in the sand. I’ve been separated for 2.5yrs and divorced for 6 months that I initiated and I still don’t feel single (there’s no contact). I’ve done 7yrs of healing and now have boundaries but not ready to be anything other than single even though I’d love to be held. Thank you for telling me it’s ok to take my time and value my boundaries.

And be prepared for the other person to stop "dating" you if you don't go over to theirs. I wish I knew myself enough to not go all the way with people too soon. I thought I just wanted the physical relationship but when they pulled away I always felt used. It took me years to realize that it's not prudish to take things slow if you feel dejected after casual sex. I enforced those boundaries last week with someone and he seemed kind of disappointed that we didn't take things further, and gave up all effort to have another date. I was wise enough to not ask for one. Obviously, I am a bit angry at the amount of people who will get to know someone only to get them to bed and then dump them if it's not mind-blowingly amazing. Pretty much every person I have met over the past few years has only wanted that, and it really sucks, so be prepared to get ditched if you are looking for something "real".

Netflix and chill IS code for sex! 😂 And of course it's a MASSIVE red flag. Why put yourself in the vulnerable position of being alone in a random man's house?! First dates should be quick and easy and in a public place, like coffee

I'm glad you're reminding everyone that they shouldn't feel pressured to do the Netflix & Chill, and that being alone with someone really is risky. And you're right - it's not about being a prude, it's about being prudent. If a guy gave me shit about turning down an offer of Netflix & Chill, I'd write him off as sketchy. For the life of me, every time I hear about a woman who's gone missing or been murdered & find out she was on a "date" with a stranger that nobody in her life knew about, it boggles my mind.

In life if you only follow your emotions you will endup sad,you have to have a plan. I love Matthew I wish he was my brother,he' has so much integrity.

I say don't go to their house until you've gone on 8 SOLID and awesome dates with your love interest, and even then, don't give in to sex on that ninth date!! Too many women these days give it up way too quickly and this is TERRIBLE. Women, please value yourselves, no matter how old you are, and also be SAFE in every sense of the word!!

Glad you mentioned safety. Just remember that video of the girl and her date taking the elevator up to his apartment on the first date.. and then we see him leave … with her dead body inside a suitcase.

Congratulations! You sure are a gentleman, kind and wise! Keep up your work! Thank you

Yeah. It’s called a situationship and I can’t make him see me differently now ☹️

"Don't do anything with someone in their home that you wouldn't do if you were on a date at an outdoor movie theater."

Just got your book the day after release, can’t wait to dive into it! Thanks for all your advice!

Matthew, your advice is on point, as always!!

Congratulations Matthew! You are such a friend/bro/therapist/nice guy. Sending love to you and Audrey 🥰

I wish people could want to watch tv together without it being a red flag. I just like to watch tv or movies together with friends and people.

I loved you touched the keeping safe sentence, we must remember this. Thank you very much Matt.