Why They Weren’t “THE ONE"

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Whenever I feel lost , I come here and never get disappointed

Been there too! But in the end it all came good! If someone wants to stay in your life, they will. If not, they were not meant to stay.

Honestly felt like you were talking about my situation! Broken hearted and questioning my whole life over a 3 month situationship. So glad it’s not just me ❤

I can relate to this a lot. After years of being single and not meeting anyone I had a true connection with, suddenly I met a guy from Rome, Italy. He was studying abroad for 9 months. When we met we had an instant connection, we did so much together. He spent every weekend with me, he was consistent and always followed through with plans. We went on vacations and travelled together. He listened when I was upset and validated my emotions. He seemed like secure attachment type. He was so funny and we had amazing chemistry. He even moved in with me for his last month. Only for me to find out that he had a gf waiting for him back in Italy the entire time. He went back to her and continued on their relationship. I found out she even had a promise ring from him that she wore during the time he was away. It was truly disturbing to find out this secret he’s been hiding and had zero consequences for his actions. Now I’m completely turned me off of men in general, because it’s like wow you can have this incredible feeling with someone that you’ve waited for your whole life, only for it to be a complete lie. I also often think about his gf now and how she has no idea who he really is…

Two months. We had an absolutely incredible time together, our conversations were profound, we shared music and spoke into the late hours of the night. But she kept showing up inconsistently in between. I tried to draw boundaries and tell her that I was not interested if if was going to be inconsistent, but every time she would return she would apologize and explain that she was in a tough place of work, trying to balance it with her close friendships, which meant so much to her. At one point she asked if it bothered me that she had male friends. I looked at her strangely (next time I will take it as a huge red flag), but I told her “no it doesn’t bother me, I know what I’m worth, so if you’re willing to screw this up if one of them admits feelings, then it shows this would not have been worth it.” I also promised her that at LEAST one of those orbiters was in it for other reasons. Anyways, weeks go by, we see each other a few more times, intimate, deep connections each time, then she just disappeared again. I reached out after a week, asking her to tell me what was really going on, and AGAIN she blanked me for a week. She finally reached out with an ambiguous message about how her “closest friend” admitted feelings, how it was painful and a huge shock, blah blah blah, that she couldn’t “confidently say” that she reciprocated the romantic feelings, but that she cared about him a lot. She said she wasn’t going to drag me through it and chose to be alone, despite her “genuine feelings” for me and how much it “PAINED HER” (in all caps) to let this go… Too bad she never “cared” as much about me ;) it was agonizing and really left me in a bad spot since I’ve been working on trust and being able to hope for something. I’m burnt out now, no longer looking intently for a relationship. What else can I do? I’m 32, I always show up with intention and authenticity, and I am repeatedly met with third parties and terrible situations like that.

You have to pace yourself when dating. Keep your emotions in check. No matter how great things are going I always tell myself don’t get too excited until you get engaged. Still show up still be your beautiful amazing self but don’t overthink the relationship until you get to your desired goal. Some don’t want marriage so your goal might be living together. Nonetheless this was a great video and a reminder to not get caught up in fireworks 💥. Happy Healing Y’all ❤

Oh Matthew, how real is this??? I'm living the pain everyday. It's been 10 months since I experienced this connection. I was alone for 24 years before that.

my heart was broken after seeing someone for 3 months, I truly felt hurt by them, we shared a deep emotional connection but they decided to end it by text message, at that point my whole world came crashing down knowing that this person who I had shared such a deep connection with would do something like that to me.

Hi Matthew. This happened to me. We were friends for a month, we laughed, we talked so easy and the attraction was off the charts!! We were together for 3 months.. he told me he'd waited 50 years to meet me! He showed and told me he loved me. Then he pulled away. Withdrew. I thought he was my soulmate.... turns out I wasn't his... which in turn really means he wasn't mine... or he would have chosen me. Sad but true. Broken hearted and still very sad.

In my situation, he said the same thing. He was telling me his real truth. I should have listened to his message more intently. And guarded my heart. I mean, he told me straight up

Yes I’ve experienced a 6 month relationship that took me over a year to get over. It was because we spent so much time together and he had all the qualities I needed. I had never met anyone like him. I wasn’t into him at first but once I gave it a chance, it was the best relationship I had ever had. I was devastated when it ended.

Our pastor preached about this. People who tempt us with things against our best interests always offer good things that we should want to get us to abandon our principles. We need to keep a serious watch out and keep our bearings intact in the face of being love bombed.

I had been dating someone for 7 months. I had been very patient and loved her deeply, she always said she needed time as she had a child. I respected that and as I live in Switzerland I had really increased my German to better connect with her and her son. I told her I loved her and said I would give her as much time as she needed. Two weeks ago she told me she was wondering wether to go back with her ex, who had been with the child for six years as he was growing up and as the child missed him so much and she wanted to give him one last chance. She truly felt torn as she loved me and really expressed the love she felt for me but wanted to give the child her father back in a family environment. We both said we don’t say goodbye we say we love you. Yesterday I found out my father died and now I’m grieving two losses. I feel so broken but I tell myself that I won’t let it break me

Wow! Word for word this was the exact "experience" I just had. It was like this video was made literally for me. This man was so uniquely and eccentrically my long lost twin separated at birth. People everywhere we'd go would comment on this. It felt gut wrenching that the timing just wasn't right and we both agreed. Having just processed a lot of this heart ache, I saw him last night at the grocery store for the first time since he'd left to go abroad. I decided that I didn't want a forced meeting. If he wanted to approach me, I would let him. I felt it was the high value thing to do. I knew that ultimately, he craved solitude and ultimately, I needed someone who was ready to pursue and value me the way I deserve. I felt it was respectful to both myself and him to give him his space and freedom. We ended up in line at the same time. I was in the line that was in his eye line. The only other choice would literally have been to walk right up in line behind him. I knew that he knew that I knew that he knew. You could see that he was conflicted about whether or not to say anything. I observed myself remaining calm and pleasant and neutral. My nervous system felt regulated after a lot of work to regulate it. My heart felt stable after so much work to stabalize it. I'm grateful and proud to say that I do not feel sad that he didn't talk to me, but proud that I was strong enough to stay in my worth and let him go. Thank you <3

We dated for 7 months. When that ended, I didn't think I would ever find that spark again. I still haven't. For years, I mentally tortured myself the way you described. The breakup happened in Vegas. In a weird twisted of fate, I now live here lol. I don't know if that's part of a divine plan. But somehow actually being here has brought back memories of that night and the relationship. That helped me see that this wasn't what I built up in my mind. Now for the first time in a long time, I feel truly healed. 🥰

Don’t look for the fireworks look for the fireplace 💛

I'm in that situation right now. I dated a guy for two months; he also told me in the beginning that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but we still tried. After two months, he told me he needed and wanted to be alone right now. It has been a month since he broke up with me. It has not been easy because I miss him a lot of the time, but your videos have helped me, Matthew. There are days when I'm still so sad that something so beautiful ended. 😟😟 I truly feel brokenhearted 😓😓😓

I dated my ex for 6 months and while he was very gentle when he broke up with me last July, it was still very hurtful because this was a very significant relationship to me. I blamed myself for the longest time even though he reassured me it was not my fault. I am feeling a bit better now, and maybe he was not my person, but I am still very heartbroken and scared of trusting someone else with my heart. Thank you Matthew for your videos, as they are making the healing journey a bit easier.

This hit really close to home. I recently went through a firework moment myself. For almost 3 months I thought it was something really great. I never felt like that before. But he apparently didn't. It's been the hardest break up I've gone through.