Rimworld A Perfect Game - A Very British Video Essay Game Review

Friendship ended with free time Rimworld is my new best friend

I'll never forget the Tortoise I tamed that had cataracts in both eyes, a bad back, and dementia. She was 195 years old. Not the tanky decoy for raids that I was hoping for, but we grew to love her all the same.

I once had Randy Drop about 50 manhunting Cats on my head with Drop pods. 2 Seconds later, he did it again, but with Yorkies. My Colony died to a literal Rain of Cats and Dogs, and it was glorious.

I'll never forget the savage wildwoman who showed up at my colony on my first game of RimWorld. She hung out in my meat locker for days before I figured out I could tame her. My Doctor was the only one with sufficient skill for the task, and in the process of taming her they fell in love. She ended up being amazing no only at melee combat, but also at working with plants and ended up being the backbone of my farming operation, and of course her and the doctor were married. Then a group of cannibal pirate raiders came, my small colony held them off as best we could, and this former wild woman was my front line, valiantly fighting to keep them from overrunning us, while the rest of my colonists fired from behind nearby cover. Many of my colonists were wounded, and she was almost dead. Her husband the doctor rushed her immediately back to the medical bay, and others grabbed the fallen artist and fallen crafter as well. The doctor tried to save his beautiful wife's life but sadly she passed away while he was working in her. He flew into a psychotic rage immediately and started smashing everything he saw, walking around in a daze just hitting things in the hospital while two other patients laid there in their medical beds. By the time he came out of his rage it was too late, all of the patients had died. These three colonists had been friends with so many people, and held important roles. Everyone's mood plummeted, psychotic breaks became common place. The harvest was not brought in. New things stopped being crafted. The electrical system broke down. Diseases went untreated. Livestock escaped. The whole colony went into a sad death spiral and it was beautiful. All because the doctor's wife was killed in front of him. At that point I was hooked and have sunk hundreds more hours into this game.

- be me - warhammer player - get called out by spiff for having no friends - do a little cry

One my favorite and many many rimworld storys was the time my 3 person colony had two colonists fall in love and get engaged. Midway trough the engagement the guy lost his nose in a shootout and got the disfigured trait (-20 to relationships i think) This was bad because he was already ugly so the women started hating him. Shortly after he recovers from his wounds they got married. 3 hours later the bride gets in a social fight with him and because of her toxic fang emplants ends up bitting her husbands left arm off. She declares herself divorced right then and there and then like an hour later the 3rd colonist chats her up while hes mid way through stopping the bleeding and they become lovers right in front of him while hes still immobile due to the pain.

My friend who sold me on the game told me that she got raided by a pack of maneating turtles, and she could only watch in terror as their shells deflected bullet after bullet.

Ah Rimworld. the game I come back to on a regular basis. I think my favorite rimworld story would be when the colony grandma saved the day. All in all, the colony was in a good spot. Plentiful harvest, good hunting and a full store house, after the first winter nearly starved us out. Disaster struck as one colonist after the other fell ill, exept for the colony grandma ( because she was about 75 years old + some hundred spent in cryo on the way). Somehow she never got the disease and took care of the remaining 5 members that where ill. Luckylie she was a good medic and cook. Then the raiders came. With no one else able to fight, it was up to granny to take up arms. Together with the colonies golden retriever she set out to hold back them back. The first shots where lucky. 2 out of 5 raiders felled with a shot to the head. The third was mauled to death by the dog. Number 4 was slowed by a shot to the leg. The 5th Raider reached her. Somehow granny managed to knock out the raider... But she was left with severe stab wounds all over, practically crawling back to the base while the dog finished off the injured raiders. She collapsed at the gates, slowly bleeding out as the dog stayed with her in her last moments. The other colonists recovered and found her dead body, leaning against the door frame outside the base, with the sniper rifle still in hand. At least, thats how I invision that scene.

"Randy is the perfect storyteller". FACTS! I would love to see you do more videos like this, really enjoyed listening to your thoughts about the game :)

The base game is already a management and survival masterpiece, but the mods give it infinite replay value

Remembering when one of my colonists fell in love with a bandit who crash- landed on our base. She took care of his wounds and healed him over the course of several weeks. Just as they were about to get married, her dog bit his head off. She found his decapitated body on the bed and died of shock.

I think one of my favorite Rimworld stories is when one of my colonists went insane and killed everyone after looking at how dirty his room was.

“If you don’t have any friends then you probably play warhammer.” Well I’ll got go bathe in aloe vera or just burry myself I guess

i am here for the spiffing brit video essay arc

mechanoids on day 15: "oh no the horror!" mechanoids on day 115: "well well well, looks like it's free plasteel day bois"

I was running a Royalty colony, and throughout the run my Countess got married 3 or 4 times. And every time within a year her husband would divorce her, and tried keeping the fancy bedroom for himself. Like was the bedroom really the only thing they were after?

The only issue I've ever had with Rimworld is everyone thinking I'm playing a porn game when I say I'm playing it.

"In space no one can hear you violiating the Geneva Convention" all of Spiff's Rimworld gameplays

"When the biggest critic of the game is that it hardly goes on sales" Laught in Factorio