6 Negative Stories You Tell Yourself And How To Change Them

Ugh! Why is it so hard to be human? 🤦‍♀️

“Children can do a lot of damage to other children.” I’m a living testament to that. I believe a lot of my negative beliefs about myself and a lot of the negative emotions I experience can be traced back to how other kids treated me when I was a kid. Bullying is not taken seriously enough by parents and teachers. There’s this kind of “Boys will be boys” attitude about it (even though in reality, girls can sometimes be devastatingly mean to other girls too) that shifts the responsibility to the victim of the bullying. That’s what happened to me most of the time, and the truth is I just didn’t know how to handle it.

I’m in my 60s. I wish someone had told me this when I was in my 20s. Thanks Dr. Marks, you’re brilliant.

"You probably need to watch this video more than once." Absolutely, yes!

"You probably need to rewatch this video to get more out of it" Me, who has been dissociating the whole time and has had to rewatch it 3 times already to get to the end of it: welp, here we go again!

"If you were blocked from making your own decisions and not being allowed to fall down, you don't learn how to stand back up and be resilient." I absolutely love this. And I love your videos. They've helped me so much.

I think I got at least 20 psych sessions out of this one 13min video. Thank you, Dr.Marks for pushing help into channels where it is most accessible and thus needed. Your work is amazing, and so very meaningful to so many people.

I'm done being invalidated. My father, who was barely around me, and (almost) never did anything father's do for their sons, keeps portraying my youth as being "not that bad." He isn't a terrible person, but my inability to acknowledge my childhood trauma or deal with it well into my 20s has left me pretty lonely. My erratic behavior and abandonment issues have pushed people who loved me away. I'm not saying I don't take responsibility, but I'm finally acknowledging that everything bad about my life isn't a result of me being worthless.

I must be a mess, because I can relate to every single scenario. After I realized that I succeeded in everything that I put an effort into, I stopped listening to the negative voices. However, there are still moments when those negative stories creep up on me.

After decades of seeing therapists not a single one mentioned this to me. I’ve interviewed hundreds of therapists on my podcast “The On-Call Empath Show” as well. This is what I needed to hear 25 years ago. Thank you for what you do! I’d interviewed hundreds of therapists on my podcast and many guests would agree with you! Hope to have you as my guest very soon! Raj

Dr. Tracey. I had an emotional breakdown in February and quit my day job Since then, I have really delved into Youtube research. Your videos in particular are extremely helpful. I'm still dealing with psychosis and working through a lot of PTSD and other common diagnoses. However, I wanted to give you props because I am learning how to use these tools and diagnoses to my advantage. Eventually I will go back to college. Thank you for everything you do! Highest regards.

Hello Dr. Marks, I am Rodney Frederick and a Graduate Counseling intern at a adult mental health/recovery center. Today I used this (and your follow up) video today in a psychoeducation group today. The clients really appreciated this work. Next year, I begin a Ph.D. Counseling Psych program. You are an inspiration. Thank you!

Even seemingly small positive reinforcement helps me. I can look around my house and find "little good things" when I have negativity. My flannel pajamas are good, my guitar is good, and so on. Just acknowledging the little good things in life helps.

I came into this story expecting that I'd find 2-3 of the negative stories I tell myself. Well, guess what guys?! I tell myself ALL of these stories!

It can be so deep and for so long, that it makes it impossible to see anything of this as negative self talk in the first place.

What you describe is exactly what I'm working with my therapist. For the first time in my life I'm learning to be more compassionate, learn to connect with myself and stop the codependence. It has been so worth it to observe myself, set boundaries and stop the control. Thank you Dr. Marks!❤

I have broken into tears while watching most of these videos. They are so soul touching. I feel like she has gently peeled back the many layers of calloused emotions and applied a salve of compassion and knowledge. I feel so much better after listening to and looking at her. Doc is very easy on the eyes!

Lol me with my ADHD and depression "I DO need to listen to this again to get the most out of it, and maybe take color coded notes."

I have generational trauma - My Mom was abused as a child and developed narcissistic tendencies because of that. My siblings and I only really realized it as adults, how much her self absorbtion when we were children negatively affected us. As well as how much damage we did to eachother by having to have kids raise eachother (thank you for addressing kids abusing kids, btw.) Now we are all dealing with the fallout from all of the negativity and neglect, coupled with guilt we were constantly bombarded with for daring to ask for anything for ourselves, we were raised with as kids. But I’m tired of being upset about it. Thank you for giving tools to do so. Too much therapy is just about simply addressing these issues and not about healing them.

She has such a comfortable voice to listen to that I’m already calming down! Thank you.