The ULTIMATE GTA 5 BUSINESS TIER LIST!
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Published 2023-08-27
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Don't ask about the description, random gibberish apparently gets videos more exposure so just ignore the following, thank you :)
HEY BOYS (gamers) (gaming) it is me HARMNONE (harmnone) here to play gta5 (gta 5) (gta online) I recently purchased an iPhone 13 from (mrbossftw) (he was illegally selling them :D) as I walked down MAIN STREET towards MADISON SQUARE GARDEN I stumbled across LEBRON JAMES (wow, incredible) he was in the middle of getting DUNKED ON by MICHAEL JORDAN (MJ) because even at 780 years old MICHAEL JORDAN is still a much better player than Bron (it's true) as I walked I saw a billboard featuring EST GEE & 42 DUGG (two of the greatest rappers alive) advertising their new ALBUM "LAST ONES LEFT" (they are the last ones left) on top of that I also walked past LIL BABY (the goat). As I continued I stumbled upon JOE BIDEN (wtf) (he was taking money from mrbossftw to be let off of his prison sentence) (he was convicted of being one of the worst YouTuber's in history) after I witnessed this (which I totally didn't obviously) (pls joe don't have my family wiped). Finally I reached my final destination, JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT where I then witnessed TGG (the gaming gorilla, ((famous gta 5 YouTuber)) being detained by the TSA for suspicion of international piracy on the high seas (wow). Naturally this was alarming as I didn't believe that he was a pirate (innocent until proven guilty) I then boarded my plane and flew into EUROPE (but definitely not near UKRAINE or RUSSIA ((I DONT WANT TO GO THERE RIGHT NOW)) finally the plane landed in Somalia, where I then dismounted the plane (yes) and got into a white Toyota Hilux pickup truck (with a mounted DShK machine gun in the bed((a bit odd)) I then went to a remote village on the eastern side of the BEAUTIFUL NATION. In said village I was instructed to enter a hut made of scrap corrugated metal fence and blue tarps. Inside of the hut I found something I never expected to see. Tylarious, Broughy1322, Digital Car Addict, Saintsfan, Nitrix Warlord, TGG and... MRBOSSFTW... all sitting around a small table made of thatch and tires (wtf is going on omg) they then sat me down and handcuffed me to the small 3 legged white plastic chair (oh no)
Naturally this was a very alarming situation to be apart of, but I wasn't going to let it get the best of me. Next thing I know, DONALD (redacted monetization and legal reasoning) AND KANYE (yez) WEST enter the hut through the back piece of tarp.
MrBossFTW comes over to me while the others watch in disarray, he gets close to me and whispers in my ear "you wanna know how I got this hut?"
I replied "no not really"
He said "I've made over 7,000 clickbait videos, extended just past the 8 minutes mark, for extra ad revenue. Now that my views are dwindling and the next era of GTA YouTubers are being ushered in, I've felt it was time to take the reigns back into my hands"
Feeling very confused and like I was having a fever dream, just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger...
WHISTLINDIESEL RUNS THROUGH THE WALL OF CORRUGATED FENCE AND TARPS IN HIS BRAND NEW LAMBORGHINI HURACAN THAT HE recently purchased from TJ HUNT (what is going on ((I am truly alarmed)) hitting and dismembering the worst GTA 5 youtuber of all time.
Moments later we all gather ourselves and meet around what's left of the table (there is not much)
Former US President Donald (redacted for legal and monetization reasons) reaches his hand out to me and assures me that nothing like this will ever happen again (wow) and that MrBossFTW has been a wanted criminal on the CIA's MOST WANTED LIST for 10 YEARS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I receive the CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOUR for my antics (not sure what I did but ok hehe) (medal of honor go brrrrrrrrr) I then ride back to the airport with the unspoken president and we depart back to NORTH AMERICA (epic)
Thank you DOnALD :)
If you made it this far Idk why you read all of that but I certainly hope you enjoyed it.
Oh and KIM KARDASHIAN & SKETE (pete) PETE DAVIDSON (peter davidson) are goofs
All Comments (21)
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No one's gonna talk about the fact Harmnone didn't start with "Hey bohohoyyysss"? No? Okay🤷♂️
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Rockstar should make a business in the back of the Seminole
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They should buff/rework the arcade passive income. Should make it so if you have a different arcade machine on each slot you make way more money so its actually worth buying different machines. Should make it so if you spend like 4 mil on all the different machines you make like 30k passively a day or something
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Pretty good list, I agree with most of em. Vehicle cargo is pretty good as you can easily get 150k per car minus the occasional 12k for Ghost org
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I remember buying the most expensive Nightclub on Vinewood Boulevard after doing the Criminal Mastermind challenge and getting the most expensive cosmetic options for it. I barely had any MC businesses at that time, and I didn't get any of the additional warehouse floors for it. I only got it just to have a nice place to hang out and chill. (Now, I've gotten every warehouse and garage floor for it, as well as every Nightclub upgrade during a sale and some MC businesses so the Nightclub can make me a lot of money)
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love this man, thnks for the content!
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the most serious but funny intro ever lmao keep it up
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The Fooligan missions are terrible. I hated every minute of them and once I did the 10 required to upgrade the Acid Lab I never touched them again.
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First time visiting this channel Literally less then a minute in and i love the style of commentary
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Clubhouse is actually one of the highest passive incomes. 20k from the bar and 50k from the bikes for a total of 70k every 48 minutes. 170k if you include ammunation and ceo deliveries. 220k with auto shop deliveries. 270k with nightclub safe, 290k with agency maxed, 295k with arcade, and 390k hourly just running non business missions. Thats higher than cayo perico if you keep up.
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Great vid! If only we could have a better selection of sell vehicles for all businesses. Ramp buggy, B6x6, monstrociti etc.
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Bro good job! would love to see a video like this but for the gta v online heists!
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Thank you I never knew the passive mode for kick out nightclub mission
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Great video man.
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I was hoping to get a full-fledged Naval themed DLC before gta 6... Sure we got kosatka sub, and the super yacht ... But feel there could be so much more- like owning a boat dock, or port to store all our boats.. Cargo ship or Passenger ship business, or even buying an aircraft carrier to store boats planes together, there could be business set up around it too...
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I still Like the vehicle cargo forbletting me steal and Drive Cars. Kind of the Essence of GTA. But you r right ITS really time consuming to Set it Up. And its super annoying If your tires get destroyed in the Sale Tour. Nice tearlist. Thx
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I'm a vehicle cargo tard and I'd say it's at least okay tier, especially once you've sourced all the non top tier cars. The sell missions are very easy and can usually be completed in about 3 minutes. In my experience nobody bothers you when you try to sell it in public lobbies so the high demand bonus is easy to get. Sourcing + selling can be done in about 10-15 minutes, which is not too bad for 120-130k payout. I love the driving in this game so I don't mind the source missions. Sourcing CEO crates is a pain in the ass and selling MC businesses is very tedious. IMO the lower profits are a fair trade-off for the better sourcing and selling. I just treat exporting vehicles like the payphone hits that I do once in a while. It's a pretty efficient way to actively make money and there's an ok variety to sourcing missions.
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Underrated YouTuber
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I would personally put the auto shop at "wicked buddy" cause I think the union depositary contract is a super underrated way to make money. it gets you 270k and I can complete it in like 20 minutes so that's 800k an hour which basically puts it on par with the Dre contract. I also like that it isn't as long of a time commitment as the Dre contract or the Cayo Perico heist. Speaking of the Cayo perico heist. I think the Kosatka is considered a business because it is a thing you can buy that lets you start a heist that earns you money, and lots of it. And that would go automatically to "based". I would also put the acid lab there. I am also tempted to put the agency to "wicked buddy" because I feel the Dre contract is not as good of a way to make money as people make it out to be but I think because it also has the security contracts/wall safe and payphone hits it can stay at "based". I pretty much agree with everything else.
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great video
