My bipolar Christian struggle

Christopher David Moyer
Christopher David Moyer
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Published 2019-09-27
In this video, I share some of the major difficulties I have faced over the years as a Christian who struggles with bipolar. For many years I blamed myself for having thoughts that were dark or unchristian, because I had uncertainties about my own beliefs in Christ and basically took it to heart that I was a sinner saved by grace, not being sure if I was worthy of that grace. At times in my life I have become delusional, and thought I could become certain characters written about in Bible, just by thinking it- starting with Elijah, and eventually ending up with such characters as God, even the Trinity, the Anti-Christ, and Lucifer. Although it was completely irrational and non-sensible, it made perfect sense to my chaotic mind at the time. My mind has been all over the place for many years, and I guess to some degree it is nice to know that I have an uncontrollable condition called Bipolar. At least that way, it eases my emotional burden because I don't feel everything is my fault. But that doesn't stop me from blaming myself when I come down from these manic episodes. After experiencing an episode, I often will feel a great amount of shame, and anger at myself that I could possibly do this heinous thing or think this terrible thought. I know God forgives me, but sometimes it is difficult to forgive myself. If you can relate, please comment below, or you can feel free to visit my web page at www.bipolarchristian.net, where I write about many of my experiences, both spiritual as well as about my manic depression.
All Comments (10)
  • @janelleferra1539
    Wow brother thanks for sharing your story. I myself am bipolar 1 and a Christian, and suffer these same things. It's a real struggle every moment of my day. I'm also a mother which adds complication as well. Much love and prayers to you🙏🙏🙏💕🌻
  • @taraprater9013
    God Bless you. I went through this almost exact same thing, especially with the unpardonable sin. I was recently diagnosed bipolar. Thank you for your testimony.
  • @faithyoung6733
    Thank you for your courage and humility and sharing your journey with us. I struggle too, and am also Bipolar. Have had diagnoses of 1 and 2, so who knows. Anyway, God bless you, and thanks for making me feel not so alone in my struggles, and in the world.
  • @Kimberlyxoxo77
    I finally got help with my bipolar! Last year was the worst ! I am almost 40 and finally got help! I notice some good changes with ttw meds I also notice I’m up and down all night! I don’t wanan he healed I want God to help me help others
  • @taraprater9013
    The thing that healed me is when I realized my perfectionism and the need to be perfect. When I let go of that and realized God sent Jesus to die for me and I didn’t have to be perfect and all I was called to do was love others as myself and the lord above all it set me free. Remember Jesus came to save not condemn the world. The one who wasn’t forgiving me was myself. You have to forgive yourself and accept your imperfect nature because God loves you imperfect as you are to give Jesus to save you. And it’s beautiful.
  • @I_AM-MICHAEL
    This is so interesting. Our paths have crossed before, and I see that I subscribed to you at some point, but it must have been a long time ago. Do you actually MEDITATE? It's kinda hard to tell from this video. There is a difference between prayer, and meditation, despite what most Christians assert. I can show you some things to try if you are open to it. Consider this verse for a few minutes: John 10:4  And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. 5  And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers. On a scale of 0 to 10, how much faith do you have that this next quote is something the MOST HIGH GOD would say? Does anything about it "ring true" for you? "Everything is about PRESENTATION, PERSPECTIVE, ATTITUDE and INTENT"
  • @I_AM-MICHAEL
    I have come to believe that the words JESUS and CHRIST are not synonymous. CHRIST is a "state of being" (anointed or ENLIGHTNED) When you say Jesus Christ from the traditional Christian perspective, you are saying "Jesus the Anointed one" or "Jesus the Enlightened one"....When you refer to CHRIST alone, you are essentially saying "The Enlightened ONE" It would be interesting to ME if you were to take a few of your favorite Bible verses that use those two words, and see if that concept holds any water whatsoever, from your perspective.