History Summarized: The Roman Empire

2:55 Cyan: "W-what the hell?!" Blue: "Honey, I can explain!" frantically tries to hide the map of Roman roads he was sleeping with under the bed

Good Video but you forgot to include the part where Marcus Lepidus secretly orchestrated the entirety of Roman history after his pawn Augustus unified the Roman Empire.

I used to be a Republic citizen the same as your father. Before the dark times. Before the Roman Empire.

Everyone: Emu War is the most pointless battle in human history. Caligula: Hold my beer

Only Blue can regard an exploding volcano with a sigh and "The shit I put up with for Rome..."

Blue's gf walks in on him with his pants around his ankles, heavily breathing and drooling as he stares fixed to the screen. She screams. "What the hell are you looking at?" Her eyes translate the pixels before Blue can stammer out an explanation. "Is... Is that a map of Roman Roads?"

"What if Rome ...but more?" is now my favorite quote of all time.

9:15 interesting factoid: Hadrian's wall had a moat on the southern side, facing away from the unoccupied territory. "Why?" do you ask? Because the wall was designed to thwart raids rather than halt invaders, and the Celts were crazy-in-love with cattle rustling, (Seriously, several Irish legends have epic heroes fight wars over a single damn cow) Yet while some cows could getting over the wall in some places, it would NOT be happening while chest-deep in water. Interesting factoid #2: the Romans didn't occupy further north of the wall because the main food source up there was livestock due to the hilly terrain (hence the cattle fixation) and the Romans needed copious amounts of grain to keep their troops provisioned. It was a similar problem in germany, where the biggest hangup toward conquest wasn't the Germans (even though they were a damn big problem), it was the lack of any real infrastructure east of the Rhine. The Romans loved to co-opt pre-existing institutions rather than build their own from scratch, but the Germans didn't really have any they could tap into. It's a stunning testament to Roman military prowess that it was logistics rather than foreign power that determined most of the borders of their empire.

Osp: Roman Empire is a thing Me: starts hyperventilating

I feel bad for Nero, his mixtape was too 🔥 for Rome

"Imperium Junkies" - R. Oh red still getting through the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

1:38 "Roman emperors murdered by the praetorian guard" Aurelian: * Cries in restitutor Orbis *

Caligula never made a horse a senator. He just made a joke (horse=equs - equestrian), no contemporary source says he went through with the "threat". He probably wasn't mad but had a certain sense of humour, hated the senate and Roman elites, was really impulsive and prone to fits of rage and considered himself untouchable.

8:09 Blue, are you sure you’re weren’t someone who died in Pompeii in a previous life?

Blue: "Talk dirty to me, baby" Cyan: "Rome had some amazing feats of engineering, including heated floors" Blue: (moans in pleasure) Honestly Blue, you're very lucky to have Cyan. Lol ; )

Ya boi Claudius needs more than ‘weak but fine’ he conquered Britain and healed the empire after Caligula!

Theres actually multiple legions with the name number , There's at least 3 legion III. The romans didn't want to abandon their legions history as it was a sign of pride to belong to a legion that had fought in certain battles , accomplished certain feats. Says alot about collective identity.

Praise be!!!! THE LAWD HAS BLESSED US WITH A GRACIOUS GIFT (The lawd of course being the little blue creature with the stubby feet)

The fact that the Colosseum was abused in the Renaissance still hurts my feelings even though I have known about that for years.

A friend of mine once told me: "If it wasn't written down by Tacitus, it didn't happen."