The Truth About Dating in Korea (Birthrates, Jealousy, Gender Dynamics) #038

Thank you for having me on the pod! It was so fun :) I’m glad I could share some Korean culture🙏👍🇰🇷

Like he said, K Dramas are mostly written by women so the fantasy is completely just that. Please don't think all Korean men step out of K Drama world.

I love David’s way of being open to seeing both sides of a situation.

I swear the dating scene is Korea is really immature, no wonder guys are exhausted. Jeez if I had a woman doing that to me I would run the other way and I am a woman. I as a woman need my space, I don't like to be smothered. Let me do my own thing and you can do yours. We don't need to be together every second of every day. That is major clingingness that is suffocating. yeesh

I am an old lady who has dated men all over the world. It doesn't matter where a person comes from. If they love you intensely they will cater to your needs. And yes, Korean men will treat you like the gals in K dramas. But so will Norwegian, Mexican,Russian men. Provided you want that treatment and they love you. If a guy is disappointing, move on. If no guy treats you the way you want, so what. You should be fine on your own.

I’m an American woman married to a Korean man. Much of this on the topic of dating/relationships is so true. And it gets even more interesting in the comments lol. Especially the comments about love bombing in the beginning of the relationship and then it quickly disappearing and breaking up. And then another comment from an older Korean woman saying that any man, Korean or not, would crawl across broken glass to see the woman they love. I think it is common that there is a lot of effort in the beginning (love bombing) and then that man either falls in love with you or he doesn’t. In my case he definitely love bombed me when we started dating, he then fell in love with me, now we are married and he’s still love bombing me 😂 of course there are a lot of deep aspects of how to keep that level of effort going. Unfortunately I think the secret to that has become an unpopular opinion amongst women at this point 😕 I would also like to speak on the texting topic. As an American I’m very low maintenance when it comes to frequency of contact. He’s the opposite. For him it isn’t about the jealousy/cheating issue. For him, talking to me makes him happy, he just genuinely enjoys it more than other things so even if he wakes up in the middle of the night he will call me instead of going back to sleep immediately. Sadly, because my culture is different there have been times when I have not contacted him in an effort to respect his time and space so he wouldn’t feel smothered and he perceived those times as “I wasn’t thinking about him/I didn’t miss him/I don’t enjoy talking to him” ☹️ Obviously people are affected by their own cultures quite a bit and you can learn more about a person by learning about their culture but as it was stated in the video multiple times, not everyone from the same culture are the same. Focus more on getting to know the PERSON without having a list of expectations ♥️

This dude is very bright and articulate

The love bombing part is very true. Its like they get infatuated really quickly and then it dies down just as fast until they either ghost you or break up. If you meet someone whos not like that then you have to fear the parents because most won't stand up to them and will break up. Aside from that if youre a foreigner youre a bucket list type of thing, not necessarily a long term option. Or you end up being their english teacher if you dont speak korean (speaking korean doesn't make a difference really). Anyway not everyone is like that but a huuuuge majority which leads to you being weary of everyone

This sounds like a nightmare to date. Imagine having to text your signigicant other every hour of every day. That is crazy! We are adults, we have jobs, responsibilities, friends and family to give attention to as well. There is nothing wrong with checking in here and there, always keeping in mind that your partner also has a life outside of you. Everyone needs their own space too. Dont be deceive by the couples in the streets thou, my korean friend says people force themselves into relationships to comply with society and avoid loneliness. I used to think "oh so many in love couples", and then my korean girlfriend said "girl, let me tell you!" 🤣

I have to say that all across the world promiscuity has become the norm. I believe in saving your beautiful energy and body for "THE" one. How lovely it is to see and feel innocence in maturity. I long for a past century. Just my thoughts.💞

I did not expect this crossover to happen. A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. Keep up the great work Marina!!!

Apartment prices may have gone up over the last few years, but money can't be the main reason. Out of curiosity I did some investigating into Korean house prices and was quite surprised at how cheap Korean apartments were compared to Australia. Here's some perspective: I know Korean people think so, but Korean apartments are not that expensive compared to other countries. Australian houses are actually a LOT more expensive per average income than Korean apartments, and Australia has a birth-rate of 1.7. That can't be the main reason for the low birth-rate in Korea. And Korean rent is LESS THAN HALF of what Australian rent is. Australian rent for a house is about the WHOLE of one FULL income, often more than the whole of one income. From what I can see, you don't need a WHOLE FULL TIME WAGE just to pay rent in Korea. Correct? In Australia, this situation has been the case for decades now. I rent a small apartment in Korea - approximately $400 a MONTH, which includes appliances (washing machine, fridge, microwave). In Australia the same apartment would be at LEAST $400 a WEEK (appliances and furniture are NEVER included in renting in Australia), probably more than that. To be fair, in Australia I would be paid about twice as much, but the equivalent rent is still the whole of one Australian income on average. I couldn't believe that I could rent an apartment on a fraction of my income here in Korea! When I mention to Korean people that you can't rent a house in Australia that is less than a whole full time wage, they are blown away! And they suddenly don't think Korea is apartments are that expensive after all. 😂 It seems to me that Korean people think this is the reason, when in reality the rest of the developed world have similar house price to average income ratios. Buying a house is not harder in Korea - certainly not harder than in Australia - in fact, it's a lot cheaper. And Korean people have ridiculously cheap electricity too! About literally 10% of the price that Australians pay for electricity. The UK apparently has a similar situation to Australia. Korean people are really lucky with electricity prices! My $15 (approximately) electricity bill here would be close to $200 in Australia and $200 for a month's electricity is a miser's bill in Australia. A lot of other bills are much cheaper too - car registration for example: Korea $35 per year for a small older car. Australia $750 per year for a small older car. I could go on and on about how much cheaper Korea is to live than Australia in almost every way. If house prices and expensive of live was the reason, than nobody except the filthy rich (top 2% of people ) would be having children in Australia at all. There has to be a lot more to it than that.

He describes the imbalance of advancing technology versus gender roles and economics so well, I really appreciate the insight as someone who wants to visit Seoul but very much has a western mindset. I’m also a Southerner; talking to strangers in a place like New Orleans or where I grew up in Texas is totally normal. Couple culture in Korea vs its low birth rate is very interesting to learn about, and I know how Foreigners are treated when it comes to dating, especially people of color, so I have no plans to do that - I’ve heard enough stories to know better 😅 I’m a Black Filipina born in PH and raised in the USA, so I’m always researching. I’m also learning Korean—almost to 500 days of lessons now! 화이팅~~!

All those scenes from k drama are present in our sociaty. Because we are open, we talk to strangers on the streets, in the malls, in the bus, trains... So there're lots of opportunities to meet somone and start a relationship, friendship or start dating.

INTJ here. No small talk?! I'd be in heaven! But grown ups don't need girls night out, and they don't need to be texting at regular intervals. If I've got something to share with someone I'm dating, I might send a snap during my lunch hour. But adults with careers and lives don't need to love bomb or be love bombed like infatuated high schoolers. And if Koreans don't want Americans thinking that every relationship is a k-drama, they need to stop thinking that we fall into bed on every first date like Vince Vaughn / Jennifer Aniston movie.

Thank you Marina for another juicy and useful episodes! Many people are interested in dating Korean men. Some also want to know what it's like dating Korean women too!

When is the next season of Ramyuen and Chill coming out?

This was so interesting 👍

Happened here by accident. Did David tell us about this? Always good to hear his thoughts.

Tldr: Love bombed temporarily due to jealously. Then you are spited into oblivion. Of course this is extremely superficial and stereotyping. But it is good to see the veil lifted.