Our Kids Have Greater Freedom in Germany? | Unraveling German and American Parenting Approaches

American living in Germany here: I remember the day when my daughter was only about six or so, and my neighbor called me to say she had just seen my daughter walking away from our house with a woman she didn't know. The woman was a friend of mine, and my daughter was taking her down the block to her favorite play park, but my neighbor didn't know that and just needed to make sure everything was okay. This made me feel so cared for by the neighbor.

As a swede I can recognise every part of the german way. I walked or bicycled to school from age seven and so has my kids. Spending a summer in California as a 16 year old I saw how everyone used the car everywhere. Going to the mall one mile away -> car. That's mental!

I Live in the Netherlands, my son of 8 felt with his bike, a car stopped to help him because his knee was bleeding and did bring him home with the bike in the car, then you knew the communitie is taking care of the kids

Children on a playground: as long as the dirt is on the outside and the blood inside - no problem.

One of the first and most essential lessons you will learn at a German driving school is that in any situation a kid may pop up out of nowhere. Like a real-life whack-a-mole game (however, your target is not to hit one of them). You're literally on alert as soon as you drive through any residential area.

My daughter was 12 or 13 when her latin teacher - like he did every year - took the whole class of a little over 20 kids on a bus trip to Regensburg because of the vast Roman history there. The kids got tasks to complete at different places all over the city that would take them several hours. He split the class up in small groups and sent them off. Of course the kids had phones with them, so they could contact the teacher when needed, but none did. They were on an adventure. That teacher is one of the most liked as well as most demanding teacher in that school. My daughter still says it is those type of teachers that motivated her to learn. We now live in Maryland and I read in the paper not too long ago that a teacher had to resign because because one parent complained that she showed her students a picture of Michelangelo's David. That may be an extreme. But the trend is there. Parents are getting too involved in what and how teachers teach. The result is that motivated teachers quit and education suffers. To make a long story short: it is this freedom born out of mutual trust that makes kids successful.

Das letzte Kapitel erinnert mich an einen Aphorismus, der Karl Valentin zugeschrieben wird: „Es hat keinen Sinn, Kinder zu erziehen, sie machen sowieso alles nach.“ Für mich heißt das, gute Vorbilder sind wichtiger, als lückenlose Kontrolle.

The change is incredible. My dad walked me to my first day of kindergarten in September of 1965. Then 3 hours later he walked me home. Then he asked, "are you good to go on your own now?" That was it. I was good to go.

Spent a year in Highschool in the US. 3rd day there, the school bus didn't come or was late- or we missed it. I started to walk. It was less than a kilometre down the road. Myvhost dad came after me with the car and was mad as hell. First culture shock.

After the homework was done, we children werde told "Go outside and play". And from then on we were on our own until the church bells rang at 6 p.m. That was the signal for us to go home. Either you had already agreed to play at school or you rang a friend's doorbell and asked "Are you coming out to play?". Since hardly any of us children owned a clock, the church tower clock was always an important point of reference, especially when you had to be home earlier because you had to go to piano lessons or do sports. And when the weather really didn't allow playing outside (a bit of rain wasn't really an argument), you rang a friend's bell to play there. The other parents' first question was always "When do you have to be home?" and one was then sent home at the appropriate time. Times have changed - traffic has increased, the number of children has decreased. It's not quite as idyllic anymore and schools are struggling to curb the parents' taxis, which endanger the children with their wild parking. But I find it really interesting to hear from a "foreign perspective" how our country is perceived. Thanks for that!

I live in a small town (village) in NYS, and because of the small town setting as well as the sidewalks, I allow my kids a great deal of freedom. All I ask is that I know their whereabouts. I definitely get calls from grandma or aauns n uncle's when they see my kids at the store by themselves or at the park watching the baseball games. But I set the precedent in my neighborhood. At first the parents were a little bit shocked, but now the whole neighborhoods kids are with mine when I send them to buy butter, or give them a few bucks for ice cream from the stand up the road.. I'm happy I did this with my kids. They know our town better then I do. They can get anywhere in our area through the woods or on the road, they know where all their friends live in and out of the neighborhood and could ride their bikes there if need be. I think my kids are the last of American kids who run out the door n don't come back home until dinner time.

That reminds me of my childhood in Germany 35 years ago. I explored the whole city by bike. All I need is a map in my pocket. (Navigation system did not exist). We didn't call anyone to go out with a smartphone (bcause they did not exist), but instead we showed up in front of their house with a group of friends on our bikes. It was such a nice thing, which I really really miss today. Thank you for sharing your video.

Also an American living in DE. Another nice thing they have here which we do not have in the US is the concept of "borrowed grandparents". This is especially nice for people like us, who have no other family around. Our retired neighbors took on this role and they take it very seriously. They love to spend time with our son and ensure that he exposed to traditional German stories and traditions. Not to mention, it gives us a little break ;)

Another german example of that topic: as a german teenager in the 80's I came up with the idea of having a bike trip to the german baltic sea together with a friend of mine for summer holidays back in 1986. Starting point was my hometown Frankfurt/Main, so the challange was to make 600 Kilometers in 10 days (both in the age of 14). We had an official paper documents with us, that confirmed our parents consent. The only condition our parents made, was, that we had to call them every day from public phone boxes (cell phones didn't exist). We spent the nights at camping places and had the teenage summer holidays of our (young) live. I remember arguing a long time before the trip to convince our parents to allow that. From my today perspective I'm still extremly gratefull, my parents allowed it. I grew a lot in this year. I don't know, if I would have agreed, if my kids came up with an idea like that nower days 🙄. Love your videos! My first comment ever 😁...your work on these culture diffrences are opening very unexpected perspective on my home country. Thanks for that! :)

I visited Germany with a small school group. We stayed with a German family. One day their teenage daughter came to her mom and discussed with her the trip her and her friends were going on. The daughter was going to France with her friends. I was amazed that her mom was quite casual about her teenage daughter leaving to go to another country. I asked the mom about that. She said they raise their children to be trustworthy responsible adults. In the US it seems we don't allow our children to be adults until they are 21. Then we expect them to know how to act like adults. From the time I was in the 6th grade until the 12th I rode my bicycle to school. It was several miles. I liked riding my bike better than riding a bus.

It has recently occurred to me that an overarching characteristic of Americans is fear and distrust of others. Studies show gun ownership is driven by a feeling of threat and that "only I can protect myself and my family". In more subtle ways I think this shows up in our insistence on owning huge cars, gated neighborhoods, and the way we raise our children. Though general danger is greater here than in Germany, my sense is that perception of a threat is overinflated, but making our way of life worse for all of us.

About the kids food in restaurants; for us here it’s normal to just order a Räuberteller for children and that just an empty plate and all the adults will put a small amount of their food onto the Räuberteller so the child can try and eat whatever they want 😊

im 13 and As a German child, I thought that all these things were normal. whenever I go to see my friends or go to school, I take the bike and I think that this has also made me very independent. Maybe it will help someone from the perspective of a person who was born and grew up in Germany

This is such a huge issue that people don't talk about enough. I was raised isolated in a suburban home, reliant on the Mommy Taxi. When I became an adult and started having panic attacks, in shame I blamed myself. Now having gone through lots of therapy I have a better perspective. I think, no wonder there are so many anxious young adults out there. Imagine being raised in a padded room and then flung into the adult world with serious financial consequences, you know?

A proper globetrotter here. I've seen and learned a lot of different cultures around the globe, but the way you managed to put it from a kids perspective... I've never really realized that growing up as a kid in the Netherlands, learning the rules of traffic early, stepping into the adult world step by step and not jump by jump, has been a special thing at all. But the way you put it, I think it did make a big impact on the person I am today. Thank you. We need to learn every day and you are my lesson of the week, maybe month.