Narcissistic Family: Verbal Abuse Tactics They Constantly Use

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My mom is queen of the silent treatment. Not talking to your child on purpose is a form of verbal abuse.

"I'm saying this because I love you" is such an insidious form of verbal abuse.

"Verbal abuse is their brokeness being dumped on you"- Absolutely correct.

It cost me a multimillion dollar inheritance to go no contact and consider myself to have gotten out of it cheaply.

As a teenager and young adult, I was constantly told by my parents, "You're in for a rude awaking!" - Well, I'm 60 next month, still waiting for that rude awakening!

My narc family do not exist for me anymore, The only time I "meet "or see my narcissist family since years ago, is when I have a nightmare.

6:50 No contact with verbal abusers, full contact with ourselves. 🎯

"I only want what's best for you," Right after they abuse you.

When my Mom mocks me, I consider the source. She is not a nice person.

"It didn't happen that way." I had photograph proof. "The picture must be wrong."

My family would never identify with being abusive because they would say calmly with a lot of superiority '''you're so sensitive'', ''you're emotional'' because I TRIED TO RAISE AN ISSUE, OR BECAUSE i ASKED THEM TO LISTEN. And then when I don't accept that I'm ''crazy'' I'm told im ''abusive'' ''detached from reality'', ''insane''...................................................... argh. They've had no insight in four years.

My parents never got their family of origin out of them, which they projected onto us. That's the entire reason for our trauma. It's a generational cycle, which I broke. Only child with a truly productive life.

I grew up in a mega narcissistic toxic highly abusive home. I was adopted by an aunt and uncle after my biological parents dropped their four children off at my grandmother's. They went on to divorce and my biological father had four more children. Leaving us and never looking back. Unreal. It has taken me DECADES to understand my life, my choices, my family, you name it. I am about to turn 60. I survived. I went to a top college, found a career I loved, and became very successful, but never fulfilled. Never able to get the one thing I craved - a family of my own. It's only in recent years I began to understand how all that abuse took a toll on me and my desire for a healthy life. I wasn't capable of handling what I longed and still longed for. It's a sad reality to wake up this late in the game.

True, when I rejected the gaslighting, I was asked to ''think of your mother, think of your father, think of your kids''. What!? So, the way I have to show love in the family is to collude with their gaslighting of me! And if I'm angry, that proves I'm mad. But if my mother is angry, that proves she's right.

My mother is so adept at guilt trips she owns her own travel agency. Fortunately for me now, I don't fly those unfriendly skies. I know what she's doing, and I don't let her do it. She lashes out at me when I don't play along. Now I tell HER to "GET OVER IT!" and she kind of understands how it felt for me to never be able to go to her with my problems and get some sympathy, compassion, and protection. Do I like doing this? Absolutely not. Will it change anything? Of course not. But it does make me feel a little bit better that I can't be manipulated to shut up and take it anymore. My old man is a master gaslighter to say things to me like "That's just your opinion." "That's your perception." and the straight up "That didn't happen." It's funny how he could say stuff like that when I point out his crappy behavior because he never bothered to get involved or care about us unless my mother forced him to intervene. Of course I know what happened because it was so rare that he ever gave a crap! When he had to get involved, he went too hard, and the punishment was disproportionate to the situation because he didn't bother to find out what was going on from his kids. If we were in trouble, obviously it's because we were PURE EVIL and not because our mother was psychotic and unhinged 24/7. And my inner critic? What a demon it is. I would never speak to another person the way my inner critic talks to me. Finally I'm learning to not berate and belittle myself so much and be kinder. Kindness quietens the inner critic, and though it hasn't gone away and probably won't ever, it's a lot less noisy, and I stay more regulated. Verbal abuse is the most insidious form of abuse. Physical abuse hurts and leaves bruises, but those bruises eventually fade. Verbal abuse sticks with you for decades and doesn't leave a mark on the outside so it looks like you weren't ever hurt. I still, when talking to people who don't get it, can't believe that some people think the only type of abuse is physical. Those people either had fantastic childhoods or are in such deep denial about their own trauma. Thanks, Jerry. Hang in there, survivors.

That's what I am working on- "deprogramming" myself.

What a PERFECT drop for Mother’s Day! Trying to be nice to her and she’s being extremely passive aggressive and cold to my gestures because it’s not exactly what she wanted in her fantasy world. This is just what I needed to Jerry thank you!

In college I began jogging & was thin as well as trim. One day I looked at my new calf muscles in the hall mirror & admired them out loud. My father immediately told me they were fat 🤦‍♀️ need I add that he also skipped my graduation & chose to tell me on the day of our chapel service? I went on to develop anorexia. Later I found a picture that my boyfriend took of me with every bone sticking out in my father’s home on display. He was so sick that my pain & suffering were a cause for celebration. Fortunately my boyfriend took me not only to every graduation event in my father’s place but he also drove me out west to grad school. He later became a psychologist & his help at that time was really invaluable. Eventually I went no contact with my family of origin

I really believed my parents truly love me especially my mother. To see that they really don't and I have my eyes opened after all these years is rough.