My Biggest Problem with Living in Japan

As a Half-Japanese girl who grew up in the rural US... Even my Japanese mom still lives as if the things you brought up were true here, 30 years since she came to the US. I was miserable when I was younger and almost suicidal as I had few friends (and no close friends) with a lot of hate for being different. When I finally managed to tell my parents to ask for help, my mom's response was 'What do you have to be depressed about?'

I don't usually comment on videos of other YouTubers in this community (because people don't always like it), but I really want to express how I feel bad about the girl in the TikTok video. I can feel a lot of emotions through her voice and I can't help imagining what had happened to her. Life can be very stressful sometimes but I hope she's OK. Also, if you feel lonely in Japan, you are not the only one. It's probably not your fault, and a lot of Japanese people have the same problem. Making friends as an adult isn't always easy and Japan doesn't necessarily make it easier, but it can be done. I hope you find ways that work for you.

I definitely agree that Japan is an introverted country. It seems very reserved.

I live in western country and I'm quite introverted myself. However, even being surrounded by extroverts, I still felt pretty lonely here. I felt that my friendships were superficial and that the people I called friends didn't care about my feelings. I think the problem of loneliness needs to be addressed in western countries too, not just in Japan. A lot of people use other people and abandon them after their social needs are met.

Every society needs to care about mental health and its both America and Japan that needs to change. We need to undo the stygmatisms & hangups of depression & isolation.

I’m Japanese. I used to live in US. At the time I felt true loneliness. Human being are easy to feel lonely when they are away from their original place. Even traveling to the other country I felt loneliness some time. Even though I want to visit and stay other countries.

Loneliness has become an epidemic everywhere in the world, and in a society like Japan it can get so much worse because people are already distant. I’d love to try living in Japan but it seems like you have to put huge effort into maintaining friendships for the sake of your own sanity lol

I think one pretty obvious advice Aki didn’t mention (I’ve lived in Japan for 3.5 years) is forming a circle of foreigners around you. Yes it sound weird to live in Japan and hangout with other foreigners rather than Japanese people, but we all feel the same way about this loneliness. And there’s no expectation to know all the social rules when you’re with other expats. I used to feel bad for not having Japanese friends after living here for so long. I have acquaintances and people I go out with, but as far as friends go all of them are foreigners (except one Japanese girl who studied in the us so she has a very open mind).

Personally, I feel much less lonely in Japan than I did in America. I think either Japan clicks with you or it doesn’t at all. And it has nothing to do with how much you like things from Japan.

it's crazy how we convince ourselves that just because of our position we're in, we feel like we're not allowed to feel sad or empty. I think it's important that you need to take into consideration your feelings and make sure your not damaging yourself. Take care Aki, and I really hope your friend finds themselves feeling better. ❤

No matter the country, if you don't have friends who are locals or permanent expats in that country then things are going to be tough. More often than not, expat friendships are also superficial or not long-lasting because they know they will leave and don't commit too deeply, so it could feel like you have to start building a new social circle from scratch every few years.

I love how openly you speak about your experience, it‘s useful for people making big decisions in their lifes. Thank you Aki ❤

Moving abroad really made me realize just how long it actually takes to make deep, meaningful connections with others, which I honestly hadn't thought much about before. I guess I've always had close friends, so I had never really considered that building those kinds of relationships take a long time and require bonding experiences. It also made me realize just how many friends, family and acquaintances most people actually have, and how lonely you can feel when you don't have them physically close to you.

I feel like this is something that needs to be brought up more. Even though, I too live in an introverted country, I didn't know Japan or other introverted countries could have these issues. Thank you for sharing.

10:05 There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness is a feeling unlike being alone which can overcome you even when you're surrounded by people. It's something everyone will experience at least once in their lifetimes and there is not much to enjoy about the feeling of loneliness. Being alone on the other hand can be really relaxing and you can actually enjoy having that time for yourself. Just felt like clearing that up. Great video tho overall 🖤

I’m from Japan and living in California for four years and I do feel lonely and separated from others. I don’t think the reason is just because I’m Japanese or either the US is bad. This just happens when you are at country that’s not home.

Thank you for having some compassion for that woman. Too often online people’s worst moments are filmed and made fun of with no context and it makes my skin crawl because it’s frequently people who are disabled, neurodivergent or mentally unwell. I hope she’s doing ok and has some kind of support. I just feel sad seeing these videos.

The mental health aspect hits hard not only as a person who has issues but as a fan of Hana Kimura who watched Japanese people bully her into suicide. I felt powerless not being able to help.

As an introvert, and half japanese, I really understand how and why japanese society became more and more introvert if I could say that. Internet has really emphasized the introvert side of Japan. It's sooooo easy for an introvert to completely lose oneself on internet. I've grown a lot with internet but after years of some kind of isolation, I really feel that I need real good interactions with people IRL. I was educated with this idea of "gaman", and still now I struggle to really open my emotions to people as if I didn't wanted to burden someone else life with my own problems. The tiktok video of this woman is so sad. It's like her emotions had to get out of her body. 😔😢 I also agree with the fact that you separate the internet and everyday life as two different worlds. I find it the healthiest way. Thanks for this video 🙏

You're talking about Tokyo, not Japan.