On Being Alone

"Zefrank is the youtuber who makes you feel the most human" -Nerdcubed

Dear Ze, Please make more videos. You're dearly missed. Connor

The scariest thing I have ever done is go to the movies all by myself. The second thing was to go to a big city, check into a really nice hotel, and have dinner all by myself in the dinning room that was full of couples or groups of people having dinner together. These experiences have taught me that when I am alone, or I guess on my own, I do not have the responsibility of having another person with me. All the choices were mine and mine alone, and I discovered that my choices were good ones. The best thing that came out of it was that I felt a freedom that I had never experienced before, because I was not dependent on anyone but myself, and that was a wonderful feeling.

When I am alone I try to remember this quote from Oscar Wilde. (it has stuck with me for years so something is working) "I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."

I miss "A Show" so much. It helped me get through one of the most difficult periods of my life. This is close, but it's not the same.

Think about secrets. Think about how brilliant the sensation of knowing something about yourself that no one else does can be. When you're alone, anything can be a secret. Even the tiny things. Even the fact that you like to play a happy song as loud as it can go and jump up and down for hours. Even that one time, when a little spider crawled from under your couch, you followed it around until it found the open window in your kitchen and was free. That you like rain more than sun or snow. Anything can be a secret. And secrets are alone.

How to be alone, but not lonely: 1) Create things. 2) Enjoy good media (movies, music, television, books, video games, etc.). 3) Exercise your mind and body. 4) Have goals, and make a todo list that gets you closer to that goal. 5) Above all else, love yourself, because you are the only person you deal with twenty-four hours a day, every day. Bonus) Try to get out and do things away from home every now and then.

Ze Frank reminds me so much of my dad. Such a calming voice. Never acts holier than thou. Just a kind, funny, warm, talented, intelligent, humble, cool dude. The authors he mentioned were some of my dad's favorites. I can't even begin to tell you how lucky and grateful I am to have had a dad like this. I miss my dad so much. I appreciate Ze Frank so much for sharing his wisdom- his 'good dad energy'- with the whole world. That's how good humans do. 💝

I just want Ze to know that he's helped me through some really rough patches and I wish I'd found him sooner. When I'm feeling very low I go straight to his face, and then maybe some True facts about... Those always make me cry. When I come home and I'm in some of the worst pain of my life, physically and psychologically, and all I want to do is drink rum till I pass out, sometimes I watch A brief history of Syria. That one gets me every time. He's the kind of guy I can picture being with at work that makes it worth trudging through those 12-14 hours, laughing so hard we can barely breathe, maybe peeing ourselves a little... I just want him to know that he's made a difference, a big one, in one scared, lonely life, and I'm grateful that he's on this planet with me.

I did tried this the other day - I used to watch TV while I warmed up on guitar (scales, etc.) until I was ready to play. But the other day, I did my warmups with no TV and blindfolded, completely alone. Some profound growth happens within you the moment you stop feeling weird or embarrassed in solitude. Thanks, Ze

Being alone is being at peace with who you are and liking yourself. It's not nitpicking at your faults or letting yourself become overwhelmed with your worries. I'm one of those people who needs time alone to recharge. To be alone is a relief. I can be weird. Wear my shirt on my head. Dance around goofy. There is no judgment when you are alone. It's an exclusive party, a party of one.

My problem is I like being alone too much. I don't hate people, I just can't take them in large doses. I have a very small group of friends I see occasionally. I like to be alone with my thoughts and enjoy the world as it is. I kayak, hike, and live alone and greatly enjoy it. Spending time by yourself, enjoying the world and organizing your thoughts can be very calming. I do like to hang out with my friends, I just like being alone more. It's ok to stop and just do nothing.

I miss you soo much, Ze...  When can you come out and play again?  You know we need you, right?  It's nowhere near as fun without you :( Please come back to us soon :)  

As an autistic person who takes to solitude like a duck to water, I have rather a different perspective on this sort of thing. But I must say, Ze, that the way you handle being alone thru mindfulness is perfectly apt, and about one step away from actual Zen meditation, which is my own go-to in moments of stress. Because Zen is also actually not about any kind of goal but only about paying attention to exactly what is happening at the given moment. It's simple, like watching a movie; you just pay total attention to everything going on, around you and within you, without judging or resisting or in any way getting involved other than to note what is happening and just let it go. This is amazingly effective at fine-tuning the nervous system and breaking all the stupid old knee-jerk reactions and habits of thought that normally entangle us. So good on you, Ze! You are barking up the right tree.

I miss your videos and I often go back to them. It's like seeing an old friend after a long absence.

why do i always find the most amazing youtubers years after they are gone?!?!?!

When you said "It send me into the worst depressive spiral, because I couldn't imagine anything", I felt the greatest relief...And, y'know, compassion, because that sucks. Joy should be easy to imagine, right? But sometimes it's not. And I'm glad, in some morbid fashion, that I'm not alone in that. Although I hope that one day we will be able to.

I like being alone sometimes but not for extended amounts of time because then i start to get lazy ... literally bed ridden... i get sick and i loose productivity but when i'm out there in the world i feel the buzz and it forces me to get my arse up and do something with my life ...being alone gets boring ..the world has so much great stuff to offer and places to be explored , new people to meet ...even sitting quietly in a park listening to the trees rustle ..anything is better than staying inside all day .

my friend, I believe you accidentally invented mindfulness.

Zefrank You are a artist with words. Poetic