why i'll never be stealth

Ashton: "I can be out about being trans, but not about being a YouTuber"

I'm a nonbinary girl and I could never be stealth. being nonbinary is too important to me and I dont really like to be referred to as a girl except by my partner(s) cause I know they really get my relationship to gender. otherwise I'm like EVERYONE MUST CONFRONT THEIR UNDERSTANDING OF GENDER! I will not be silenced lol

When you told the story about calling out that homophobic asshole it reminded me of something I did once. I was watching a movie in theaters with my boyfriend (at the time) and it was a pretty gay movie, and every gay scene the guy on my other side kept making pretty homophobic comments, so at the end of the movie I just said very loudly “That movie was almost as gay as me!!” And the dude literally went out of his way to avoid me after that lol.

6:47 What a missed opportunity to say 'intransically'

Passing and being stealth literally don't exist for non-binary peeps, so I love that for me 🙃 I've been having a hard time with that recently (as I do often tbh). I just can't fucking deal with the way I'm perceived, but I can't real do much about that until the world starts to change or rather wake up. And it doesn't help that physical transition is so up in the air for me. It's like being in limbo tbh... Maybe I'll write a poem about that Anyway, I like this filming background! But I'm all for trying different set-ups and stuff 👌🏽

Even though I'm a non-binary guy, like you, I think I would be comfy with being stealth and I'm even planning on going stealth when I'm older. Also, I like the new background :)

With oppression over the years..I’ve tried to just go with the three D’s! “Dick’s Don’t Dictate, who you are as a person”

I think how I feel about going stealth is pretty similar to your feelings. Like, not everyone I ever encounter has to know but if I'm at all close to you you'll probably know because of how much of an impact it has on my life. Also, I like the background! I hope you have a good day!

Stealth would be impossible for me. As a bigender person I perfer to be as androgynous as possible. Having mixture of a feminine and masculine presention. And ppl will always think in a binary way. I never seen anyone (except in queer spaces) assume others were non-binary.

The background looks cool. Also I agree because I’m transmasculine so hate when people ask if I’m a boy or girl I just give an awkward breath and walk away 🙃

I definitely relate to this! It's part of why I wouldn't want to be stealth either. I'd want to be recognized as being nonbinary & I wouldn't want to hide how being trans has impacted my life.

GOD i wish i had seen this video or anything similar ages ago. i went stealth going into high school and i almost instantly regretted it for really all the reasons you listed, but didn't gather the courage to come back out until recently.

I like the background! But please try more places to find what you like the best

the background is very nice! haven't started t but get read as male 50% of the time. I'm transmasc so ideally, like you said, people would just somehow know my gender. (except that's not really possible in our society yadda yadda yadda) if someone were to ask me if I were trans, I'd be honest, but at the same time i'd assess my safety before doing so. being lgbt is such a big part of my life but I'll usually only feel excited to talk about it with other lgbt people, you know? so if someone read me as a cis male, and I didn't feel fully comfortable with them, they might never know I'm trans. it's like a weird in between stealth skdjkdjd

a little late to this but it felt really amazing to hear someone say this. i went through a phase where all i wanted was to be stealth, purely because of anxiety and "am i being a good trans person", and it really hit me last week that i wasnt living the way i wanted to. i've been really struggling with that, but this honestly helped so much, so thank you for this ;-;

First of all I have exactly the same identity! I’m totally fine with people referring to me as he and a man, and I like it, but I first ventured from they/them into he/him when I noticed that it was a lot easier for society that way. Not that that should dictate your choices/identity/presentation. But yeah I would also consider myself a non binary man who’s happy to be called a man, trans man or ftm, whereas pre transition it was more like I was non binary but just accepted people calling me she all the time. For me it’s not so much that I want to be stealth, more that I want to be the one to out myself as and when I want to, to who I want to. At work I get old colleagues call me she, and then new people at work are confused because like you, I look like a man. I totally relate to the trans jokes too!! It’s funny. I think I’m in a situation where I’d rather be stealth in some situations and out in others. But admittedly it makes me more anxious and self conscious trying to be stealth because I feel the need to make myself more cis passing. Really great video, you articulated my thoughts perfectly! Also I like the lighting and background and hope life, although busy, is treating you well ❤️

i feel super similarly to you about being stealth. im also a nonbinary trans boy and use he/they pronouns, so there’s that. i dont think i want testosterone, so ill probably never really pass. i definitely want top surgery, but im probably gonna show off my scars at like any chance i get lol. not to mention i often have at least one trans flag thing on me, a bracelet, pins, patches, etc. in some situations i do like being introduced as my mom’s son, and just having people assume im a cis guy (although my hair is usually some bright color and i only wear skinny jeans, so idk if that ever actually happens), but if i get remotely close to someone they’re probably gonna know im trans. also, i love this backround, but im excited to see others too!

I think when I am further along in taking T, and when I have gotten top surgery, I might be somewhat stealthy, but also I like to dress unconventionally.

6:36 lol yeah recently i saw a truck that said "top speed trans" so like... me when i run really fast

Background is 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 I hope college is good, and that you are enjoying the busyness and thriving but also caring for yourself. I don’t think I’ll ever make the conscious effort to be stealth but in certain situations I might not out myself! Also, your voice in this video just made me think about if there was an Ashton Daniel podcast 😂👍🏻