Men | ContraPoints

Hey how are you?

"No mom it's socio-political analysis I swear"

"The male gaze" and "the male gays" has to be my favorite double entendre ever for no particular reason.

wouldn’t it be nice to see a men’s movement that modeled itself not in opposition to feminism but as a companion movement

honestly, men's rights, trans rights, and feminism should be sibling movements, not against eachother

"I watch Contrapoints for the plot"

"affection is always concealed behind this semi-jokey front of competition" this shit hit different

Last night my wife and I were having some drinks with friends. I was wearing a black leather mini skirt, Batman Crop top, a crop top biker jacket, and my Demonia platform boots. A man comes up to me. The was a big burly biker looking guy wearing a cutoff denim vest with patches all over it, flannel shirt, dirty cargo jeans, and combat boots. I thought he was going to kick my ass. No. He came up to me and wanted to thank me. He always wanted to experiment with more feminine clothes and was too afraid until he saw me with my friends laughing and having a great time. I was the person who made him feel like it was safe to be himself. I told him clothes are just clothes. They keep you warm and cover your privates. That's all they are. If you want to wear a dress and heels do it. Anyone who has issue with that doesn't need to be a part of your life. Men often feel like they have to put on a fascade of what society tells us a "Real Man" is. Parents need to be the ones to change that.

Toxic masculinity is a term that actually came out of a men’s rights group in America in the seventies, as difficult as everyone seems to find that to believe.

Hey wow, as a black man you almost made me cry to hear someone finally say it. I’m CONSTANTLY afraid that I’m making people uncomfortable, especially white women. I watched a young white girl leap out of an empty elevator in a PACKED Nike store in Chicago because she was scared of going up two floors alone with me. Not to mention her friends caught her like she jumped from danger and they were so glad she was safe again. It honestly just feels good to hear someone say it. I’m scared that you’re scared, I’m trying really hard to look as harmless as I can

There is a running joke among historians that masculinity is always in crisis.

I will say, the 11 and 12 year old boys I worked with in a rural middle school, they were comfortable hugging their male friends and saying I love you. They never said no homo or seemed uncomfortable. There's hope.

Transitioning to a man was (and still is) a very strange thing in today's world. When I realized I was a trans man I put off transitioning because I had a very negative view of men. Most of it came through bullies in highschool. Then one day I kinda used the feminist ideas I learned and applied it to my transition. I used to tell myself, "I am a woman no matter what I wear or do." So I changed it to, "I am a man no matter what I wear or do". That was really freeing for me, but I still had a lot of social dysphoria. How could I be seen as a man, but still like who I am as one? Thankfully, my grandpa's are wonderful men. They are blacksmiths, carpenters, artists, and spend lots of time in nature. I started to associate those things with manhood and have my own sense of masculinity now. While I'm not out as trans to them yet (only a few family members know. It's difficult with religion), they invite me to their "man circles" where I get to talk and have drinks with the other men in the family. They are so happy to have me there, and I'm happy to be there too. I hope men can find there own ways of expressing there masculinity like I have .

honestly having someone whistle "Row Row Row Your Boat" while you are the only two people in an elevator sounds like the first scene in a horror movie.

Natalie: I'm pandering to the male gaze. Me: sweats in lesbian

I’ve worked with men in psychological crisis and the amount of times I’ve seen them both deny help and later, admit something is messing with their idea of being a “ good man “ or a “ strong man “

The masculine ideals I've tried to replicate come from Aragorn from Lord of the Rings and Uncle Iroh from Avatar. Is it super nerdy? Maybe. But their open kindness and honesty and fierce loyalty to those they care about I think are ideals worth emulating.

My dad is someone who I grew up seeing as weak and passive, got older only to realise how secure he is in his masculinity despite the bs society told him about what it is to be a man. Now I wish I was more like him

I once was catcalled by a man yelling the word cat at me and I wish him well.

I give a hearty laugh when I hear "anti-rich prejudice" Personally I love anti-rich prejudice, we need more of that please.