Why aren't incentives working for Singapore's falling fertility rate? | Deep Dive podcast

"who will care for you when youre old?" You should already be planning for your elderly phase and NOT relying on your children. When we bring children into this world you have to know they owe us as parents absolutely nothing. Many elderly in homes and elder care complain their children don't come see them at all. Don't rely on your kids to take care of you, be an adult, plan ahead, pay for assistance, don't be lazy and entitled.

11:40 The awe inspiring and admiring faces of others panelists when she talked about how she want her kid to be in top form. 12:08 The almost disbelief and kind of disapproval faces of the panelists when she said she don’t force her kid to be anything anymore. There, one of the problem. The parents and kids are stress non stop from their own expectation and others starting from pregnancy to adulthood. Endless worrying of their life. It is not surprising if not everyone would want to go on that experience for 20+ years of raising one kid.

The simple answer is that one side sees kids as assets while the other sees them as liabilities. Some people view monetary, career advancements and achieving personal goals as the only form of abundance. While others think that relationships and a big family are all that matters. If one is bent on not having children for any reason, they should not be compelled or be persuaded. Let those who want to have kids, have them. There’s no right or wrong, only cause and effect.

Why should I suffer to bring another being in to suffer? My kids will be saved from the stresses and drudgery of this life and having never existed, will not feel deprived of the joys they missed out on. The state is worried because there will be less soldiers, nurses, tax payers to perpetuate its will. The state does not care about the well being of the born, only what it can extract from them.

Too stressed and overpopulated, too expensive. When both parents have to go out to work full-time in order to survive, the children will hardly see their family. No moral guidance, no family warmth only maids. Kids confined to school from morning till sunset, grow up stressed from studies and CCAs, parents stressed from OT work. No time for family or community bonding leads to less social cohesion and less inclination to have children. No job security due to constant intense competition from other nationalities. Wages constantly undercut. Increasingly expensive and shrinking homes resulting in less personal spaces, which leads to more conflicts. Cars priced 4x that of developed countries, hence family members cannot privately converse during travel journeys and cannot explore together on road trips. Cut-throat atmosphere and constant refrain of "nobody owes you a living'' to citizens makes our country feel less like a warm loving home but more like a cold calculating profit-driven company.

because throwing money at a problem without a holistic, structural approach to addressing the issue is doomed to fail.

Having children requires a lot of sacrifices. We are now so self-centered that we are not ready to sacrifice our personal freedom for the kids. The education system should focus on the importance of having family bonding, mental health, and community spirit.

The reality is that even in the younger generation, some men still believe main caregiving duties fall on the women. I just had a young baby and my husband does not want to step up. Till date he has not changed a diaper on his own. When asked why, he gives many reasons why he is not able to do so, eg he doesn’t know how to change a diaper, or he needs time to get better. He has been shown how to change a diaper time and time again, he just blatantly refuses to do so. Being a new mother dealing with newborn challenges alone is extremely stressful. I have no intention of repeating this again. One and done.

It's very hard to be a working professional mother who has to take care of more work after work hours, housework and child minding. Getting a maid brings me additional problems. And I am expected to contribute as much if not more at work as all my colleagues who do not have children. I have 3 children now. I love kids but it's hard. Quantity compromises with quality. What would make me willing to have another child would be the possibility of working 50% of what I am doing now and still earning a reasonable sum of money. This allows my family to have dual income and yet time and energy to take care of my children well.

This conversation has missed the plot. Singapore is a highly-competitive, elitist n materialistic society -- we celebrate consumerism over culture -- where white-collar professionals are not protected from working 10-12++ hrs a day, n young single adults struggle to move out of their parents' home (many staying until 35 yrs old n beyond) due to high costs n housing policy. This is creating a generation of exhausted n stressed adults with little room to blossom into healthy n happy individuals. Many women are in survival mode n trying to cope in this environment, which is not conducive for families n child bearing. $8k or similar payouts don't make a dent in this situation. Allowing more flexible work, sabbaticals, egg freezing n more fertility support into early 40s is the way to go, while also focusing on changing the narrative in this country.

When family with young kids wants to get a family car and have difficulties because of high code but what some more and ministers response? I think the gov should encourage the high earners and ministers to have more children instead….average singaporeans have no time for this

Birth rates fall as countries fall for one reason: there’s no need. With pensions, healthcare, developed financial products people don’t need large families to provide for them in non-productive years. Free of that burden people will pursue self-actualisation goals. When this need falls away personal liberties take prominence and people are free to have fewer - or no - kids. Or not even form a household at all. A big part of this is greater focus on career. This pursuit necessarily means delaying family formation to focus on education and work.

What can help? Take happiest country in the world for example - they have 12 months of paid maternity leave.. this will rly help with new mothers adjusting to the new lifestyle and saving cost of not having to send the baby to infant care etc

Divorce loss of house, kids, pension and income etc is the unspoken real cost of families

Well if you see the Salary : Expense ratio you will know... it's NOT rocket science

Funny they are excited about 4 weeks maternity leave ? Even in Thailand they have 3 months. Europe they have 12 months

Catch a man a fish, and you feed him for a day Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life But create a man, and you create a lifetime of hunger that didn't need to exist in the first place.

13:10 I don't think majority of people will think that current environment is safe. Yes that is no aggressive danger that threatens our physical lives, like in Africa, Gaza, Ukraine, Taiwan etc, but the labor market, the economy, the inflation, the cost of living all these are stressors when its unstable. I would say all these environment factors are also very critical. if some couple earns enough to have kids, but competition in their job sector is high, the turn over rate is high, the job security is low, they know they have to hustle non-stop, These people are always stressed, they know if they don't move up, they are stagnating and at risk, they don't know if they will have a job 5 years down the road. The whole Singapore is like that in varying degrees across industry sectors. The government knows this, that's why they keep asking people go upgrade themselves using skillsfuture to keep their skills relevant. Giving incentives and subsidies are just bandaids, you can't live off the subsidies and incentives, and in the end they are not forever, but the job hustle never ends, the lack of job security never ends. This is the key problem in my opinion

Most places with incentives, the incentives aren't great. Try an experiment - Free apartment. Stipend enough for one parent to stay home. Ticket out of military service. Free tuition. (Worth a try in Singapore at this point...) People aren't going to completely change their behaviors for nominal amount of money and a relatively nominal time off work.

Because women have been sold the dream since they were young: 'You should be a super successful CEO. You should work hard and be a globe-trotting, power woman.' So we slogged out guts out studying for 20 years. Obviously we want to keep pursuing our careers. The vision in our mind has been cemented - smart, beautiful, powerful. A stay-home mother with her old tshirt and shorts, messy hair and crying children - that seems like the opposite of successful. Nobody tells us it is good to dream of becoming a mother. Nobody tells us how important it is to raise the next generation of singapore society well. No alumni is given the stage to share about how they grew up and became a housewife - only the career women. We see articles about women in the navy and airforce - amazing, truly. But where's the article that applauds women who are homeschooling their 5 kids or women who quit their jobs as doctors, accountants or teachers to become a stay-home mother? They exist, but they are not recognised. Change your words, change people's mindset. Then the outcome will change too.