But the narcissist says they LOVE ME

When a narcissist says "I love you", what they mean is: I love how you make me feel about myself.

Words are meaningless without actions to back them up.

You have a better chance of electing a politician who will actually lower taxes than meeting a narcissist who genuinely loves you.

THEY LIE. ALL the time! End of story.

Actions speak louder than words. If some one doesn't have your back then their words are meaningless.

"I love you is not a magic eraser" ! Awesome.

To me this is quote is beautiful…… “Most survivors of narcissistic abuse would be fine with never hearing throw away phrases like I love you again If they could only be treated in a consistent, empathic, safe, and loving way “

When a narcissist says I love you he/she means I love to use you.

To love is an action, not a string of words.

The sad part is when you experienced this kind of behaviour that you become suspicious when people telling sweet things to you 😢

“How much maltreatment does a person need to endure before they recognize that the cruelty always outweighs the l love you?” Apparently 20 years, based on my experience 🤣

Talk is cheap. Show me you love me not by doing something ‘nice’ but by how you treat me when we don’t agree.

My sister-in-law can go off on a word salad of criticism against me and in the next breath say she loves me and she's so happy I am part of the family. Wacko!

Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there. They will promise to do it, but never follow through. If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction. An argument will ensue The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character. The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved. At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction They give you what you asked for, BUT There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done [email protected]

This message has brought tears to my eyes. I hear these words “I Love You,” from my husband too much, that it means nothing more than words. Once my settlement from an auto accident finalizes, I’m moving out.

Saying one thing while doing another is a hallmark of toxic people. It drives you nuts!

Normal person says "I love you": I cherish you and want the best for you. Narcissist: I desire your supply, for me.

Action speaks louder than words. Instability or constant shifting of behavior is red flag and a go ahead to RUN.

Definitely had to learn words mean nothing without action. Very manipulative, for their own personal gain.

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective [email protected] for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.