15 DATING RULES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

This woman is not even 25 yet she has achieved and has knowledge of a lifetime of success!

"If they're not Hell Yes about you then you have to be Fuck No about them." - Tamanna Kaur

Girl I’m 15 rn and I’m so thankful for all the PAIN you are saving me from in the future. Getting my standards sorted now rather than later 😍

1. Testing process • test what he's talking to u about. 2. Sometimes the feeling of boredom while meeting a guy comes from your lack of experience with good guys. 3. Know what kindness means to you • stop normalizing being in toxic relationships ( it's trauma bonding) 4. Being attracted to bad boys is a representation of our ego • We want what we can't have 5. If a guy keeps talking about his past trauma RUN he's a narcissist • Sames goes for excessive talking about future. 6. Do not spill your secrets • never reveal your ideal type, boundaries or how u were treated in the past. 7. Stop discrediting what happened in the past 8. Attachment styles are the KEY 🔑 9. He should be testing u too. 10. Be with a man who wants to be your boyfriend, not who just wants a girlfriend . 11. Be in your feminine energy • stop controlling • sit back observe 12. U are not just dating a person, you are also dating their lifestyle. 13. They are not their to save you 14. They need to be judged in other areas of their life. • What kind of relationship they have with their family, work, exercise, etc 15. What does your dream life look like. • Be focused in self love, self care, etc • get ur fulfillment from other areas of your life

Being a 17 year old and watching your videos literally is saving me from so much pain i would have faced in the future if God didn't actually help me by pooping your YouTube video one random Saturday in my life. And since that day I m so grateful about the path God is showing me through you tam. Thank you so much

13:12 "we are not meant for everyone and that's okay not everyone can see your light and that's because not everyone is supposed to be in your life" this is so powerful. thank you!

My current boyfriend planned our second date on our first phone call. Like he was so sure we were going on a second date, he was so confident and secure about what he wanted. A year later, he’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in, someone who shows me everyday he’s willing to work to make changes & communicating so that we can grow as individuals and as a couple, we’re already having conversations about marriage and having children together.

Dating rules: 1. Testing process 1:07 ○ It’s not enough for a guy to be attractive, nice etc and show some interest in you. ○ Test 1: first interaction. For example the first message should NOT be just one he sends to a million other girls. ○ Test 2: how long it takes for him to say what his intentions are. After a few days of texting he should plan a date, because you are not his talking buddy, talking stage, situationship. ○ Test 2: first date. § What was he talking to you about? Was he asking deep and meaningful questions? Was he trying to get to know you and understand you? Was he only small talking and flirting? § Low effort and casual first date? Not the vibe. He should invest in you because he sees the value in you. If he is not even trying to make the best impression in the beginning, then isn’t the rest of the relationship just going to go downhill? § Post-date intentions. He should say he wants to see you again or suggest a next date in the following 48 hours. Realize you have so many options and don’t have time to wait weeks for him. 2. Get used to dating good guys 4:53 ○ The boredom you feel when you get to know somebody new with potential comes from the lack of your experience with good guys. A healthy relationship is not a roller-coaster with constant highs and lows. Don't say that a good guy that likes you and is showing up for you and communicates his interest in you is too predictable and too available. Don’t expect butterflies and the sparking sense of passion, it's only your addiction to fuckboys. He should be upfront with what he feels and affectionate and planning dates. Get used to the stability and interest. You shouldn't even have the desire to chase him, he should do that, he should take care of you. Don't mistake addiction to feelings and infatuation to love. 3. The importance of kindness 7:05 ○ Don’t romanticize and normalize toxic relationships. Define what kindness means to you, how you want and expect to be treated, make rules. There will be times you misunderstand each other or have disagreements, but you shouldn't ever scream at each other, give each other the silent treatment, swear at each other. Never use bad language to each other, don’t insult or look down or disrespectful to him. At the end of the date you should always remember you love and respect each other, so show it 100% of the time. Kindness could mean planning dates, words of affirmation, complimenting or helping each other, making your life easier before you even ask for help. Discover your love language. Get over your ego, you don't need the best looking guy, the one that all the girls want, you need a kind person next to you, who proved his worth and character to you. 4. Conversation topics 10:44 ○ You shouldn't talk too much about the past or the future. He shouldn't tell you about how difficult his past was or his relationship with his family, his trauma or his exes -> instant red flags, run away fast, biggest signs of a narcissist. When you’re a people pleaser or an empath you are going to want to save him, but that is NOT normal. If he talks to much about his future plans and projecting them on you he might be overly clingy and obsessive and overly attached. He shouldn’t be desperate and need a relationship so badly, because he also has alternatives. The conversation should be center around him actually understanding you and him assessing if you are a good match for him. It goes both ways. 5. Mixed signals 13:00 ○ We are not meant for everyone and that is fine. Not everyone can see your light, not everyone is worthy of you. Don’t force connection. Stop showing him how to treat you, stop asking him to act right, stop teaching him how to be emotionally intelligent. You shouldn't fight for his attention. You need to be so confident and so obsessed with yourself that you know all of the worth and value you bring, how great you are and what a fabulous girlfriend you would make. If he is not obsessed with you, he is simply not your person. You are a dream girl. And there are multiple guys who will do whatever it takes to get you, be patient. If a guy meets his dream girl he will certainly do everything to win her. If not, it's just not a match. 6. Do not spill your secrets 14:30 ○ In the beginning dating stage never tell him what your boundaries and standards are, what your type is or how you were treated in the past. Else you are giving him a cheat sheet on how to play you, because you tell him you accepted a low vibe, bare minimum behavior in the past. If you only say your past relationships didn’t work because you weren't meant for each other, he won't know what kind of treatment you are used to and he will work to earn and impress you, because that is the kind of woman you are now. Sit back and observe, be in your feminine energy, detached, knowing that what’s meant for you will find you, don’t worry. 7. Stop discrediting yourself for what happened in the past 16:14 ○ Everyone makes mistakes. You learnt from them and are now wiser. You are more prepared for the new dating experience thanks to what went wrong in the past. You don’t have to get it right from the first time, but never settle. Past experiences teach you what you want and do not want, what you are willing to tolerate and what not. You are in a better position to make important decisions like marriage. Trust yourself and your intuition and follow his lead. 8. Attachment styles are the key 18:15 ○ 4 different attachment styles: secure (best one), avoidant (you're uncomfortable with intimacy, closeness and commitment, maybe you’re hyper-independent, you like to date, but can't stick to anyone), anxious (you’re clingy, need a lot of reassurance, you're confused about how others feel about you) and disorganized (mix of anxious and avoidant, you fear commitment, but you also want closeness, you need reassurance, but you also don’t care) ○ You need to transform your attachment style into a secure one. Anxious and avoidant people attract each other, because they reinforce the other person's insecure need. The avoidant will think he should stay independent and not get clingy like the anxious person. The anxious will keep believing that he needs to keep asking for reassurance because the avoidant keeps withdrawing from them. The insecure attachment style is formed by childhood trauma. 9. He should be testing you too 20:25 ○ He should be obsessed with you, see your value, want to date you and romance you. He should be eager to see you and want to put the effort into knowing you, BUT he should be independent and secure enough to know that he is not about to jump into a relationship and a commitment with you straight away because he needs to get to know you first. He also want to understand whether you're going to align to his life. 10. He should want to be a boyfriend, not just get a girlfriend 21:15 ○ He is ready and excited for the responsibilities that come with being a boyfriend, because he knows that in order to earn a girlfriend he has to put in the work, provide for you, support you. Don’t be attracted to the idea of him or his potential, assess if he is really prepared. He should be happy to see you smile because of him, to take you out, to buy you flowers and provide for you, to make your life easier. 11. Feminine Energy 22:25 ○ Don't live in your masculine energy, don’t try to have control over everything including him, to make all of the plans, don’t ask yourself how you could be more attractive to him, don’t compare yourself to other girls or even his ex, don’t wonder if he should even have female friends. ○ Exist in your feminine energy, sit back and live your soft life. If he doesn’t give it to you, it's fine, you can give it to you yourself. You shouldn't have any desire to control, to teach him how to be a boyfriend. You have high standards for the people that come into your life, you are confident and living a fulfilled and relaxing life. When he is approaching you wanting to be in a relationship, you should be aware that your life is amazing the way you created it and that you don't need him, but you can want him if he is able to match your life and then elevate it. 12. You are not just dating a person, you are dating a lifestyle 23:42 ○ You should assess him, not fall for him blindly. 13. He is not there to save you 23:36 ○ Heal your wounds. Don't get tricked by people who can put a temporary band aid over your broken heart and mistake it for unconditional love and an everlasting connection when really it is just familiarity. Don’t let the common trauma you share blind you. 14. They need to be judged how they act 26:34 ○ How is he with his family? How does he show up for their friends? What kind of employee is he? What is his relationship to his passion, work, hobbies, discipline, exercise, nutrition? Try to understand clearly how he is thinking and what his mentality is. What are their toxic traits, their weaknesses, their strengths. Everyone is imperfect, but it's not about finding somebody to date whose perfect rather someone with flaws that are compatible to your flaws, that you can deal with and not get triggered. 15. What does your dream life look like? 28:22 Romance is just one part of your life, not the whole story. One person can’t be everything for you. You always get the love you deserve when you stop looking. In order to attract the healthy, high value relationship and person that you want you also need to match that level.

happy to see many girls,teenagers,women being educated and having therapy at the same time for free!!!! Thanks to her!!!

"So if I need to ask foryourattention, then f*** your attention" -Tam Kaur 2023 A quote to live by.

Half way into the video I blocked him 🤭🤭 thank you ❤

I wanna hug her right noww! She's working so hard every day to provide us the best content. And she's just growing so fast. I can't tell how grateful I am for her and how much I appreciate her.

1:09 testing process: questions he ask, how much effort he puts into the first date, post-date intention 4:55 feeling of boredom could be a lack of experience with good men 7:09 importance of kindness in a relationship 10:46 too much conversation about the past or the future is a red flag 13:03 mixed signals is an ick 14:34 do not spill your secrets - your boundaries, your standards, what’s your type and how were you treated in the past 16:17 stop discrediting yourself for what happened in the past 18:18 attachments styles are the key 20:28 he should be putting in the effort to get to know you 21:17 be with a man who WANTS to be a boyfriend 22:27 feminine energy 23:45 you’re not just dating a person but a lifestyle 24:39 they are not your saviour, you are your own saviour 26:36 they need to be judged for how they act in the other aspects of their life 28:21 what does your dream life looks like?

I am 22 and so agree... our time is too valuable for boys trying to waste our time!!

Im 40, married and still learning how to be treated and draw boundaries. This in itself means im not in a good place, doesnt it. Hmm thank you for the video. I heard it 3 times n likely will hear it till I memorise it even though I'm not even in the dating scene

so happy i found your channel. this is advice ive never gotten as a lost young girl with no proper female role model.

I would love a video on how to have a relationship with yourself when you're in a relationship!

« …. No one talks about the type of person you need to be able to grow into in order to deserve that relationship and actually make it work with a good guy long term » 🤯🔥

According to many people you are just a gorgeous girl giving tips to others. But actually you are showing us the kindness and affection of your relationship. Now that is what HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP is called. 💕

It's amazing to see a woman in a successful relationship who is still confident on her own. You're a great role model for everyone here! :)