When Your Ex Finally Breaks!
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Published 2024-05-26
In this video, Coach Lee explores a critical moment in many relationship dynamics: "When Your Ex Finally Breaks!"
This analysis dives into the intricate psychological and emotional journey that an ex undergoes before they reach the point of wanting to come back to the relationship they once ended.
Coach Lee, with his extensive experience in relationship coaching, provides a comprehensive overview of the stages and internal conflicts that an ex faces during this transformative period.
Coach Lee begins by defining what he means by an ex "breaking." This term refers to the pivotal moment when an ex realizes they want to return to the relationship they left. It is a process marked by intense introspection and emotional upheaval, often catalyzed by a series of realizations and experiences that gradually shift their perspective. Coach Lee emphasizes that this breaking point is not merely about missing the other person but involves a profound change in their understanding of the relationship and their own feelings.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon of Freedom
The journey starts with what Coach Lee calls the "Relief Stage" or the "Honeymoon of Freedom." After a breakup, many individuals experience a sense of relief and newfound freedom. They no longer feel the constraints of the relationship and may initially relish their independence. During this phase, they often engage in activities and social interactions that they felt limited from before. However, Coach Lee points out that this phase is usually temporary. The excitement of freedom often wears off, and reality begins to set in.
Stage 2: The Reality Check
As the initial excitement fades, the ex enters the "Reality Check" phase. Here, they start to encounter the downsides of being single again. Loneliness, the absence of companionship, and the loss of shared routines begin to weigh on them. Coach Lee explains that this stage is crucial because it initiates the process of reflection. The ex starts to compare their current state with the past relationship, leading to the realization that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Stage 3: Reflection and Regret
Following the Reality Check, the ex moves into a period of "Reflection and Regret." This phase is characterized by deep introspection and an honest assessment of their past actions and decisions. They begin to recognize the positive aspects of the relationship they ended and the role they played in its downfall.
Stage 4: The Emotional Rollercoaster
The next phase is the "Emotional Rollercoaster." During this time, the ex experiences a wide range of emotions, from sadness and regret to anger and confusion. They may go through periods of intense longing for their former partner, followed by doubts about whether reconciliation is possible or even desirable.
Stage 5: The Turning Point
The "Turning Point" is a critical juncture in the journey. It is the moment when the ex decides that they want to make amends and seek reconciliation. This decision is not made lightly; it comes after considerable soul-searching and a genuine desire to rebuild the relationship. Coach Lee notes that this phase requires courage and vulnerability, as the ex must confront their fears and take responsibility for their actions.
Stage 6: Planning the Return
Once the decision to reconcile is made, the ex enters the "Planning the Return" phase. Here, they strategize on how to approach their former partner and express their desire to reconnect. Coach Lee advises that this step should be handled with care and sensitivity. The ex must be prepared to communicate openly and honestly, acknowledging their mistakes and demonstrating a sincere commitment to making positive changes.
Stage 7: Reaching Out and Rebuilding Trust
The final phase involves "Reaching Out and Rebuilding Trust." When the ex reaches out to their former partner, they must be prepared for a range of responses. Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of patience and understanding during this stage. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, and both parties must be willing to work together to heal past wounds and create a stronger, healthier relationship moving forward.
Conclusion: The Journey to Reconciliation
Coach Lee concludes the video by reiterating that the journey an ex takes to reach the breaking point is complex and multifaceted. It involves a series of emotional and psychological stages that lead to profound personal growth and transformation. He encourages viewers to understand and respect this process, whether they are the ones considering reconciliation or the ones being approached by an ex. By gaining insight into this journey, individuals can navigate the path to reconciliation with greater empathy and awareness.
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All Comments (21)
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You deserve better is exactly what she said…. My response : You’re damn right I do . Take care .
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Coach Lee is the man my fiance and I split up for 7 months and 19 days I watched all of Coach Lee's videos I even paid to have personal coaching with him. Sure enough my ex came back we are now married and having our first child. I love you Coach Lee and I would love to send you an invite to our wedding celebration.
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My ex reached out after almost 4 months with a casual question. My replies were curt. Then after like a week or so, he wanted to meet. I turned him down. It hurts. But you know it in your heart that the pattern will repeat. So think and think HARD before you consider taking your ex back.
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My ex reached out to me after a year and is realizing the grass was not greener on the other side.
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My first one came back after 3 years. My second one came back after 9 months and my last one came back after 4 months and again after a year. They ALWAYS come back BUT trust me, you should NEVER take them back. The pattern always repeats
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Listen to Coach Lee, he is 100% right. My ex contacted me after 118 days, she was really kind/nice and sent me some pictures, asked about things. She left me with no money, self respect, no dog, and her family threatened me. I was at the very edge of many things. She said exactly what Coach Lee says. "Curious whether I am okay, what I do, how am I doing" and stuff. I'm amazed. I was polite and I'm now continuing my life. I feel happy, I feel better now. Much love for you, I know how it feels. It gets better after some time. It was 3 months for me to heal my hearth. The completion was when she reached out. I hope I will make the best decision. God bless you people! ❤
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These past 6 months have been the most interesting part of my life
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I don’t expect to hear from her ever again. Although she’s showing face a lot lately. 5 years together. Now we’re strangers. I deserved better but one day she will realize that she was loved unconditionally. Her loss. Hope she’s well.
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If someone leaves you for what ever reason wish them the best and from that day on make an oath to yourself that you are not going to let your emotions be the best of you even if its a living hell, depending on your age you still have a lot of life to live and in order to make the best life you can for yourself you need to work hard on the things you want and be better for the ones who did stay in your life such as family and friends. Discover your passions and talents and get really good at them! See the amount of joy you have when you see yourself making progress on what you want. Yeah they left you but hey it’s up to you what your going to do with your life and no way in hell am I going to be the sad person who got dumped and can’t function in life. Just spreading love ❤️ you got this everyone :)
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my ex reached last friday after less than two weeks of no contact. I was polite but not very engaging (she started talking like we were good friends) and didn't consider that the relationship ended because she left with someone else. The next day I was blocked. NC is for arrogant people and they cannot handle their needs not being met. I assure you that she will come back after a few more days of NC. At this point I just want my peace and sanity.
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I’ve learned, when the ex breaks and comes back…don’t focus on the relationship. Just have fun with them, have amazing sex, and just keep it light. Remain focused on yourself. Talking about heavy shit too soon or being emotional, or talking about why you broke up…will push them away again. You want them to start associating you with good feelings again. I’m currently in this right now, and as the weeks go on…I notice her letting her guard down more and more, her being more responsive, her being more submissive…simply because I’m just focused on having fun and having great sex. No strings attached, not reaching out unless it’s to meet up, etc.
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I work with my ex.... so yeah NC was difficult, but because of my role. It was easy to have my team deal with her. it's been a year+. Therapy has changed my life immensely, I chose me, and I put myself first. I don't chase or beg people to stay in my life. Everyone who knows/works with her and sees how she looks now and changed. My ex did alot of these behaviors at the beginning of the break up. But I stood on business and kept to my boundaries. She saw me for the first time in many months, and my legal/field team all noticed she was heavily checking me out. I peacocked and did my thing in my cases. I know she misses me because the judge had me respond to her questions and the people who know me were wondering to see if I'd get nervous or falter...man I was so chill with it. We all noticed my ex had crinkled a smile and blushed. No contact works, I chose to move on and just put in the work. If she wants to come back. That's cool, I'm not going to reference a closed chapter, however I'm not going to fall for the same nonsense... plus I know my worth🤙🏾
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Just on the topic of how women surround themselves with friends that encourage them to stick with the break up. I 100% feel that's the case with my ex. Like I understand that friends want to be supportive, but unlike men (who think logically), women tend to influence hate. So I definitely feel that her friends influenced her choices more, despite not even meeting me.
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Listen to this man! He is the G.O.A.T.
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Please never stop making these videos. You are doing wonders. Thank you for your input!
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OMG! I'm so glad you're letting your hair grow. The old old coach Lee is back. ❤️
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She finally responed to my text and did not want to see me because she was seeing someone else. I told her I was dating too and told her I just wanted to catch up. She offered to exhange stuff by leaving the garage open. I declined. A bunch of texts later about just all kinds of strange stuff. And her telling me she will never be treated like I treated her abut now she knows not be be taken for granted. And I taught her that. And that she is secure in the reasons she ended it. She said she missed her stuff and then I told her if she is in the neigborhood to stop by, I was not interested in delivery or going out with her as she is in a relationship and just to catch up. She passed and so will I. Some just are not meant to come back and its time for me to let that go. Thanks for the coaching session Lee it was a great help!
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Thank you Coach Lee. Went on and stayed NC in a few weeks. Accidentally met my ex in the streets. We talked. He cried and told me how much he missed me, how he cant imagine life without me. I want him back. He wants me back. But both of us decided we’re not ready yet because of other priorities. We promised each other we’ll reconnect on a certain time. We’ll start over. I have fears but also has now peace of mind.
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Love and support from Singapore 🇸🇬 Coach Lee
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Going through this right now. Coach Lee is not only a genius, but his videos have been very timely. Not sure what I am going to do yet.
