Typical Talk
103
Published 2023-11-28
Here are some steps to sort fact from fiction next time you find yourself wanting to blame someone for a conflict.
Step 1. Describe the conflict (where there was fault-finding) in objective terms. What happened? Try to be as factual as possible (eg. don’t include any adjectives or adverbs that convey emotion)
Step 2. Describe your role in the situation. What might you have done knowingly or unintentionally that may have triggered the other person’s reaction? Ask yourself, what does it mean about me if that’s true? Could I live with that?
Step 3: Describe the other person’s role in the situation - stick to the facts and avoid adjectives or adverbs. What stories are you making about the meaning of the other person’s behavior? What evidence do you have that these stories are true? What might be some alternative explanations? How would you feel about the conflict if these alternative narratives were true?
From Psychology Today (March 8, 2020) Projection as Protection
All Comments (4)
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👍👍
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She in for rude awakening.
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Luke 4 vs. 33 “Now in the synagogue there was a man who had a spirit of an unclean demon. And he cried out with a loud voice,” vs. 34 “saying, “Let us alone! What have we to do with You, Jesus of Nazareth? Did You come to destroy us? I know who You are—the Holy One of God!” vs. 35 “But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be quiet, and come out of him!” And when the demon had thrown him in their midst, it came out of him and did not hurt him.” vs. 36 “Then they were all amazed and spoke among themselves, saying, “What a word this is! For with authority and power He commands the unclean spirits, and they come out.” vs. 37 “And the report about Him went out into every place in the surrounding region.”
