Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse: Identifying and Managing Emotional Triggers

Thank you so much for joining me this evening and a huge thank you to everyone who used the Super Chat I really appreciate your support and I will respond to any comments or questions you may have had as I read them back Apologies for the poor quality at the beginning of the livestream, I was broadcasting during a storm outside so maybe that affected the WiFi? Not sure I'm still learning how the 21st Century works!

Every betrayal begins with trust.

You always put out some great info in a way that's easy to understand and applicable to real life situations. Thank you for the great work you do

I've gotten to a point where if someone is giving me a troubling vibe I'll pretend I'm worried about something I'm not worried about at all. Nothing major, it never has to be huge for an ill-intentioned person to try to use it against you. If they turn around and bring it up when I say no to something unrelated I end the association. It's not foolproof but has been illustrative here and there.

Betrayal is utterly cruel

I had this experience in my late 60’s when a difficult “friend” I’d known for a long time, a person I’d finally decided I’d had enough of the mean whiplash I consistently experienced when engaging with her, she literally brings up in a shaming manner the most sensitive topic that I’d ever shared with her…it was a stunningly vicious stab straight at my heart. Confirmation is what it was. Run not walk away from this narcissist.

Than you for the video! I find hearing information repeated with different contexts and examples helps it sink in better for me. Something I already "knew" will suddenly hit me differently and bring new insight. So, your content topic over-lap is perfect for increasing my understanding and healing. I also enjoy your personal stories, Sci-Fi references and perceived presentation imperfections! It is humanizing and makes you relatable.

This has been wonderful, Darrin. I really appreciate these teachings, and your calm, straightforward manner. Thank you.

I just found your videos and they are SO HELPFUL! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insight. ❤️

Thank you so much. I am about to attend two special occasion events with a small group of people who have been incredibly difficult for the last two years and it caused a great deal of suffering. Your content is helpful and I think I will listen a few times, to this one, so my mind can better absorb the points you make. It is much appreciated.

I love the Cranberries and their wonderful song "linger". Brings back lovely memories of holidays on the irish westcoast in the 1990's... What I don't love though are the memories that linger on in my psyche of the covert narcissistic family I had to grow up with. To everyone in the village they were hardworking,decent people providing for their people. At home though there was hell almost any day. The consumption of alcohol on their part made it worse even. They triggered each other by the minute so to say.There were shouting matches and violence. I could go on for hours...I know this shouldn't be the case but I'm very happy there are more people all over the world who have had similar experiences. Sounds stupid but it gives me some sense of "belonging". I mean I'm glad there are people who understand what I'm talking about as there are few who can relate to what suffering from narcissistic abuse and having been programmed by their mindsets and attitudes feels like. I hope it makes sense. English is not my1st language. I like your channel very much. You give very good and understandable information . Thank you very much from Germany.

Experiencing triggered for past three years plus and never knew (?) THANK YOU for the reference to this vid Darren.

Thanks. Incredibly informative - will have to go back for a repeat.

I really appreciate your videos and love the longer ones ❤ very helpful no matter what stage of healing I'm in. Thank you Darren!

Start journaling each night: (1) What did I do today that WAS in alignment with my ideal self?; (2) What did I do today that WASN’T in alignment with my ideal self?; (3) Thankful for? To add to the four criteria Darren mentioned..

This makes so much sense, triggers…… this is exactly what I have been trying to explain. Saying something to me that they know will have the effect they are looking for to justify what will come next.

Darren, you are amazing. Your videos are so helpful. I grow when I watch your videos. I learn something new. Or I learn something I already knew on a deeper level. Also, not many therapists can give specific examples. The narcissist might say this. Or they might say that. So often you are dead on. It is so hard to describe these things. To explain how the narcissists plays their games. Nobody tends to understand you. And the memory loss with trauma makes it worse. But hearing your descriptions, and especially your examples. I havent seen anyone do it better. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This video was awesome. Just like the rest of them. Thank you.

Hi Darren, great content as always. Please don't do any social media courses! Love your natural, human connection😊. I've been working with my 'triggers' for a long time and through self help and therapy have learned to recognise them. Now when I sense a trigger, usually by how I'm feeling and then questioning the emotion, I stop, take a slow, deep breath, look around me and bring myself into the present. I have a mantra-'That was then, this is now, and I am safe'. It's taken time but I've definitely noticed the impact of my emotional response is less painful and I recover faster. Looking forward to your next forum on boundaries, I had to reinforce one with my narc parent recently and am awaiting the 'fall-out'😏. Thanks Darren ❤🖖

It's so sick. To teach a child that irrational fear of public humiliation because of Their fear of a child embarrassing Them publicly. Children have to learn by making mistakes. I think you just explained social anxiety that so many people experience as adults because of the insane conditioning of a paranoid parent. I was put in ballet at 3 years old. No wonder I had stage fright. And maybe that's why so many people suffer from agoraphobia. To avoid those triggers of getting punished.. Sorry I couldn't be like Shirley Temple. .. How I wish I had known the problems She truly had. It all makes sense to me now. Your insight and words are truly a gift to people like me who want answers . I am so thankful that I found your channel. What Ive gleened from your studies is that You have to see the toxic root of a problem in order for it to stop growing and spreading to your children. The generation curse of insane logic.

Absolutely brilliant! Watching this has strengthened something I've wondered for a while... which isn't so much about triggers for me but more about recognising patterns, and using that recognition to draw strength and learn